My Life

Over 8 months!! Wow!

2011-09-21T00:25:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it's been over 8 months since I wrote. I need to update all. I will have to do it tomorrow though. I am just checking in for now. And, since I haven't written in a while, I haven't read my friends' blogs either. I have a lot to get caught up on... 'Night!

The End is Near

2011-03-11T19:38:00.000-08:00

I am talking about sickness in my house. I am getting well and I am so glad. I have coughed, sneezed, had cold-sweats, and hot-flashes a lot less today than the day before. I am very happy about this turn of events! Crazy-excited to get my energy back and get back to having some fun. Oh, all the things that I have missed due to being sick and miserable.

Son and Husband are still sick though. I just have to keep Princess and Little Lady well and by Monday we should be on the mend. I may have to keep us home again for another weekend in a row, but in the name of getting better, it will be worth it. And it is kinda fun. Watching movies, playing with toys, reading books. Except for the sick factor, it's all good.

Well, hopefully we will be good on Monday! Have a good weekend.

Still Sick... when will this end?

2011-03-09T11:37:00.000-08:00

Seems to me that my children and I have been sick on and off for almost a month and a half. As you may have read from earlier posts, my middle child, Princess, was sick with strep throat twice and swine flu once. She sees well now and I am so thankful for that. Son was sick with strep throat once and the flu now. Little Lady was sick with diarrhea once and got a horrible diaper rash from it. She also got a three-day flu just recently, and is ok now. But, she continues to be a little cranko... not sure if that stems from her age or something else going on. And now, husband is sick. He sent an email to me this afternoon titled, "It just keeps going 'round" that read, "Now guess who has body aches and chills?" Oh, dear! Not again!

I can't wait for us all to get well. As soon as I am done with this post, I am lying down and getting some much-needed rest. I think I need to go out tonight and get some more chicken soup ingredients. I am out of carrots and chicken broth. And I am making a double recipe of it this time. 'Nough putzing around with eating the wrong foods!

When I am sick like this all I want is chicken soup with juice and maybe some thing hot to drink like tea. And I keep scratching my head wondering if I am missing anything.

So, what makes you feel or get better when you are sick?

Sick And On The Mend

2011-03-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

Today is devoted to getting well. Everyone is to bum it down as much as possible. Only eating, sleeping and playing. Watching movies is a high priority when we are awake. We are all going to take an afternoon nap and we are only going to assert ourselves enough to make it through the day. No stress, no worries, no work!

Since we have been getting sick about two months ago, Princess has gotten strep throat twice and now has the flu, swine flu no less! Little Man seems to be ok at this point, but why chance it and get him sick again too? Little Lady seems ok but she had diarrhea so bad earlier this week, she hasn't pooped in two days now. And she got diaper rash so bad she was almost raw, so we got her a prescription cream to clear that up. I have a sore throat and has a constant drip from my nose. I feel tired all the time. I need to get more sleep so today's agenda will be perfect for me. Husband has a cold too and is just tired as well.

Hopefully by tomorrow, we will all be more of ourselves. But, for today, we are going to be the slowest snails you ever saw.

Sick and Hopes For Getting Better ~ Plus, other thoughts.

2011-03-04T13:15:00.000-08:00

It's been a hard winter for my family and getting sick. I can't wait for Spring to fully kick in and for my family to stay well. Little Man had a case of strep throat. Princess has had two cases of strep throat and now she has "swine" flu. Little Lady had a bad case of diaper rash brought on by diarrhea. I have a cold that I am hoping clears up really soon. I hate feeling like my head is the the clouds.

We looked at a house on Sunday. I have been excited/anxious/nervous all week. Currently we live in a three story plus basement, 4 bedroom, 2 bath, 100-year-old home for almost seven years. While it's kept us safe, dry and mostly warm for these years, it would be so nice to get into something more suited for our family. The house we looked at is a ranch with 5 bedrooms, a huge basement, an eat-in kitchen, 2 bathrooms with the possibility of a 3rd, and a huge yard. The yard is 14X the size of our current yard. Major difference. We would have to move away, pull our son out of school (We would wait to switch school until next year), find almost all new doctors, new pre-school and speech therapy programs, church, and make new friends. It's about 35 minutes away from our current town. And, it's in a rural area. I have mixed feelings about it but would mostly feel down if we couldn't pursue this.

Dinner... I have to make dinner. Again. I wish I could just wave a wand and dinner would be on my table, hot, delicious and healthy.

Fun Weekend Break

2011-02-12T11:40:00.000-08:00

While I love my kids and all they are about, there are some times when I reach a limit and need some space; some time to myself. I was at about that point yesterday. So, I was anxious for a girls' evening in with a couple gals I have been getting to know over the years. As soon as I could get out the door, I was off. The evening was spent gabbing and talking about life, kids, husbands, jobs or lack of, love, hardships, fun, faith, some politics, and dreams. It was a fun time and before we knew it, it was 2 in the morning. Two became 3, which eventually turned into 5, in the morning. I was so tired with the dawn of morning approaching that I fell asleep on her couch and didn't get up until about 9. I haven't had a more fun time in a while and I look forward to getting together with them again. Maybe not for a sleep-over, but I enjoyed their company.

Today, I am helping a friend with an art project for a play she is in. It's going to be something fun to do and I am hoping that I will be able to help her. Maybe I will post some pictures later if I can.

I got my resume finished and I am getting some counsel on how to make it better. Got some pointers last night that were extremely helpful. Now, I hope to send it off Monday. Job, here I come!! I am so excited!

Two-hour delay again?

2011-02-10T05:17:00.001-08:00

Today is our third two-hour delay this week, in a row. Yesterday, as I was cleaning up after dinner, my son announced that if they delay school (today) that they were actually going to cancel school for the day. I am not sure what he heard, but I have no indication that this is true. And I know he likes school, so I'm not sure where this came from. But, it's funny!

Got my resume started so that I can look for some part-time work. It's been so long since I wrote up a resume that I wanted to start from scratch, however, I forgot how to write it up, so I had to look up an old one. I am modifying it a good deal to make it current. When I got to the sections of "related skills" and "transferable skills" I got lost. I had to ask my DH for help. I forgot what those where all about. I just figured out it's been 8 1/2 years since I had to write up a resume.

I am so excited about this next chapter of my life. I think this is exactly what I need to do. I go out with my friends and have found some fun things to do, but I end up still feeling empty. The fun is fun but it doesn't serve me the way it should. I think I need a sense of purpose other than just being a wife and mother. I love working with brides and grooms. I also love prom. Yeah, the stressed-out brides and the immature prom girls can be a bit much sometimes, but I love getting the girls into the dress of their dreams to help make their day all they want it to be.

Well, it's 8:30 and I have two up and playing. I need to get some breakfast on and maybe we can watch a short movie before son goes off to school. School delay days are fun! Have a good one and thanks for reading!

Dentist, Laundry, and Getting a Job

2011-02-09T05:40:00.000-08:00

Today I was supposed to go to the dentist without my kids. The girls were supposed to go to a church program and Son was supposed to go to school. Well, the cold weather foiled my plan and so now I have one hour and 15 minutes to decide... ugh! Do I even NEED to go? I had some sensitivity on a tooth (not a cavity) and they were going to cover it. But, since that appointment the sensitivity has gone away.
(8:59 Am. I am rescheduling. I am not taking the kids.)

I need to get some laundry done. Son is out of pants and here I am writing this blog. Maybe I should go put a load in so he has some clothes to wear. Well, it's that or sweat pants today. Ok, ok... I'll put a load in. Finish in a few... Well, that was a big load. I made a basket of all the jeans we had in the dirty clothes. I had about a large load and another half load worth. That's a lot of jeans!

I still need to write up my resume today and cover letter. I need to get a job. Seems like money is always tight here. I say seems because I don't have much to do with money decisions. So, I guess after 7 years, I need to get a job so I have some of my "own" money.

I got a new vacuum after waiting about 9 months for it. I have needed one for a while now. In the spring husband told me I could get a new one on Black Friday, about 6 months away. I was irritated at the time, but I kept thinking, if I just hold off and this piece of crap lasts that long, I can get a GOOD new one! So, I waited and decided in my head I wanted a good one like a Dyson. So, on black Friday when I was out shopping, like an idiot, haha!, I saw that the Dyson vacuums were on special. However, husband did some research that I did not and learned that the Dyson models were prone to negative feedback. He thought we should go with a Hoover vacuum that was highly rated, by just about everyone. It wasn't on special but it's everyday price was pretty good, so if I would just wait a little while longer, we would go get one soon. That was about 2 1/2 months ago! So, after 8 1/2 months of waiting, I finally got a great vacuum! Husband was right. It cleans like a dream!

Kids are getting up. I need to figure out breakfast and get son to do his homework. Have a great day and hopefully I'll see you tomorrow unless I am so busy cleaning with my new wonderful vacuum!!

Randomness...

2011-02-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that this is the first time of this year that I am writing. I can't seem to get motivated to write more often even though I would like to. I do enjoy writing. I don't know if the kids keep me that distracted that I don't find the time or if I have something else keeping me from it. Anyhow, I would like to find something that I enjoy writing about and make it a priority to write at least a couple times a week.

Family news:
My younger sister is expecting a baby in June.
My youngest sister is getting married.
My mother just had a milestone birthday and it was fun to help coordinate her celebration.

I need to make some goals, some obtainable ones, and reach for them. I want to get a part-time job to make some of my own money. I am going to polish up my resume and send it out to the local bridal shops. I had always enjoyed working with brides and grooms to coordinate their big days, so it's worth a shot. I haven't worked outside my home for seven years, so I think this will be a fun adventure for me. I think I will make that my goal when Little Lady is taking her nap this afternoon.

Well, it's a two-hour delay day and I promised pancakes to my kids, so I need to get off here and go make them! Have a great day!

November Thankfulness ~ Traveling

2010-11-22T18:08:00.000-08:00

It good to be thankful everyday of the year and November, with Thanksgiving Day just around the corner, is the perfect month to jot them all down. Here goes the continuation of my thankfulness list:

1. I haven't had many opportunities to travel much yet, but I went on some amazing trips with my family as a child. Georgia, Minnesota, Mississippi, Connecticut. Seems so few, but they were so fun!
2. I have been on some fun trips as an adult, all to Florida, in 1998, 2006, and 2010.
3. I have some dreams of taking a few trips as an adult. France, Italy, Switzerland, Germany, Sweden, plus some yet to be determine dreams. The number one goal is to get my butt to New York. I mean, really, how hard would this one be to becoming a reality?!
3. I have great friends who will take some of these future trips with me.
4. That I have a good husband to take some of these future trips with me. The romantic ones! ;-)
5. Ocean City, MD! My favorite (so far) destination for ocean fun! Went as a child, once for an anniversary. Plan to take my kids someday!
6. I went to the Pocono Mountains as a child up until about eight or nine years ago. Loved every year! Didn't matter if it was raining, dry, hot or cold. Had a blast every year. We always went to the same clean, organized, Christian camp and never had a moment of boredom. There was just so much to do!
7. Airlines. I have been on three round trips so far and haven't had any difficulties yet. I enjoy driving, but I think 20+ hours in the car is just too much!
8. Enjoying the local food. I often have had the opportunity to enjoy restaurants that I have never been to before. Love that!
9. I enjoy random and somewhat spontaneous road trips.
10. I am so glad I live in a big open country that has so much to offer by way of culture and diversity and scenery.

So, what's your thankful list? Would love to hear from you too!

Happy November Thankfulness!!

November Thankfulness ~ School and related...

2010-11-12T10:22:00.000-08:00

It good to be thankful everyday of the year and November, with Thanksgiving Day just around the corner, is the perfect month to jot them all down. Here goes the continuation of my thankfulness list:

1. School. This year, my son is in first grade. There are still some areas of the world that don't have school. Some areas are still so devastated from flood or famine to hold school and I am blessed that my children have a place to go and expand their minds.
2. Good teachers. This is so taken for granted. I have had a few in my school years that were so terrible. Teachers that yelled, talked about their sex lives in a competitive manner with a mixed class, gave tests on stuff that wasn't part of the teaching material. These are a few bad stories. So, I am blessed that my son is enjoying school and has had good teachers. So far, so good.
3. Libraries and books. We have a membership to our local library as I think all families should have. And my son's school has a library that encourages the kids to borrow books.
4. Art. I love art!! It only comes second to music for me. And my son takes an art class in school every week. Someday I want to start taking him to art museums to show him how beautiful art can be with the right tools and materials.
5. A good lunch. We provide most of our son's lunches to school, but once a week, we decided, to let him buy lunch. It gives him some freedom to choose a good lunch off the menu and to learn about paying with money.
6. Buses and NICE drivers. Son's bus driver this year is a nice lady who is strict but fair. She gets the kids home safely which is important since we live on a hill with busy traffic out on the road. Once this week I was running late and had to meet her somewhere. She was nice and reassured son that she would never leave him and would get him to where he needed to go. She was nice about it even though I was late.
7. Extracurricular activities. Our school puts on fund raisers that are fun and family oriented. I would hate asking my family to keep shelling out money for fund drives. But, taking my kids skating or to the school for a carnival ? Those ideas are great!
8. Class parties. These activities keep school fun and give the kids something to look forward to. These happen near or on Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's Day.
9. Homework. I know... Some parents might think I am nuts, but it's good practice for my child and keeps the knowledge in his head. Plus, it makes me remember too. I have to do this two more times in the years to come.
10. Field trips. These are fun and gives the kids a chance to stretch their legs and expand their minds by seeing something they may not have had the opportunity to see before. I always had good experiences with field trips and I hope my kids get to go on a lot of these.

So, what's your thankful list? Would love to hear from you too!

Happy November Thankfulness!!

November Thankfulness ~ Friends and Fun

2010-11-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

It good to be thankful everyday of the year and November, with Thanksgiving Day just around the corner, is the perfect month to jot them all down. Here goes the continuation of my thankfulness list:

1. My high school friends. Those that have stuck by me despite my immaturity and naivety.
2. Simpleton Meetings.
3. NO FUBAR Girls' Nights out.
4. The cousins that I can call friends and who have known all my life.
5. For singing! I love to sing. I enjoy karaoke with my friends very much!!
6. For laughter!! I love it when my cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing.
7. For chick-flicks. The latest one I watched was Life As We Know It. It was a laugh-out-loud movie for me. A must see!!
8. For memories. Some great, some not-so-great. But, most of them my good friends have seen me through.
9. For life lessons. Some my friends have lovingly taught me.
10. That God made me a woman. Yes, we are a tad more complicated. A tad more emotional. But, I am glad that I get to be me. And my friends love me despite my flaws.

So, what's your thankful list? Would love to hear from you too!

Happy November Thankfulness!!

November Thankfulness ~ Family and Home

2010-11-04T11:38:00.000-07:00

It good to be thankful everyday of the year and November, with Thanksgiving Day just around the corner, is the perfect month to jot them all down. Here goes the start of my thankfulness list:

1. God. That he loves me despite my flaws. I am speechless to say how thankful I am to be one of God's kids.
2. My husband.
3. Three crazy kids who keep me on my toes. Love you, kiddos!!
4. A trashed house. Note: the key word being "house". A roof over my head, four study walls to protect me from the weather, especially with winter coming.
5. A reliable vehicle. Make that two! God is good!
6. My husband's job that helps us afford food, our home, clothes on our backs, and other fun things.
7. All my appliances that make my life a little (WAY!!!) easier. Dishwasher, refrigerator, oven/range, freezer, washer, dryer, hot water tank, furnace, etc.
8. Health insurance. Though there has been some changes that I hate, God has provided us with GREAT coverage when we really needed it.
9. Food. Food to prepare. Food to eat. Food to share.
10. Stuff. Despite the fact that I hate all my clutter, I have to be thankful for this. It means I am settled, that my kids are in school. Learning. More on that...

So, what's your thankful list? Would love to hear from you too!

Happy November Thankfulness!!

Baby Yard Sale Madness and another child

2010-09-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

I had a little here, a little there. Some stashed in boxes, some in bags. Most in that room, but still more stashed in the attic, waiting.

Now that I have been pulling out all the baby stuff to have a yard sale, it's amazing how much stuff we accumulated. Clothes, toys, bedding, cribs (we had to have two at one point), toddler beds, mattresses, sheets, towels, bathtubs, blankets (ah! I almost forgot to go through these to sell them off too!), bassinet, strollers, car seats, high chairs and booster seats,

The stuff is piled up in the dining. The bigger stuff needs priced and loaded into my car tonight. I have been working on the clothes off and on for about a week. It's grueling work. I have been trying to remember what goes with what and trying to find all the pieces to the sets. What isn't sets I have been trying to pair things together so that I don't end up with a ton of shirts or mismatched bottoms and tops that can't make little outfits.

I thought I was ok with selling everything off and part of me is, the other half is missing what could have been another child within our family.

So, last night before bed, I looked for another child. Someone else's child to fill the gap I feel. A Compassion Child. I have been wanting to sponsor a child for a long time, now seems like as good a time as any. There were a few kids that jumped off the page at me, but how does one pick? They are all so cute and need someone to care.

A Few Thoughts

2010-09-14T18:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I wrote. I have a few thoughts.

Nails: Bitten down. I feel so defeated. I am going to try to get it stopped again. It's hard to stop once I start again. But, I have to stop this habit. I just have to.

Babies: I have having some regrets already. I am trying to ignore the regrets by having a yard sale. Once this stuff is gone, we just can't have any more. However, going through all those cute clothes has reminded me how much I love the baby stages. Cute little toes, adorable little feet. Tiny little fingers, nose and eyelashes. However, it's for the best. My brain tells my broken heart. I got to stop. My eyes are welting up again.

Reorganization: I am trying to organize my life and make myself busy so I don't pay attention to the things that I wish I could be doing. So, my bedroom and my attic are in shambles as I am trying to switch the two. Bedroom in the attic. Playroom in my bedroom. It's going slowly and the clutter is killing my motivation.

Vacation: I am going away to visit an old friend. Can't wait! I haven't seen her in 4 1/2 years. It will be good to reconnect even though out time will be limited.

Put Me Over The Top

2010-08-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

It wasn't a long drawn out conversation as husband thought it would be. There wasn't a debate. No harsh words or fighting. Just a simple fact and a cut throat decision.

For the three children we have, my husband's health insurance, through his job, has provided us with free doctor's appointments, free hospital stays and free deliveries. All covered. In January, his health insurance is changing and we will each have a $250 deductible each year. Plus, we will have to pay 10% of the hospital expenses of the delivery. Plus, immediately after, he will be having a vasectomy which will be $200, out of pocket. Right now, that procedure is covered. That will bring the grand total, to a new baby, not including the next 18 years of their life and college and a wedding, to over $1000. Just for that child to be born and for husband to be snipped.

Now, that doesn't seem like much in the scheme of things, but $1,000 is a lot of money. Money we don't just have laying around. So, when husband told me the facts, I didn't need to hear much more.

If you have read my blog even some, you will find that I have written from time to time about wanting another baby and husband not really that interested. Well, he's pretty adamant. Just not interested. But, the fact that I am almost 35, am a little frazzled with the three we have, have had some pregnancy issues in the past and can't wait till we are diaper-free makes for a good case to be done. But, still riding the fence, this money issue put me over the top. So, before the end of the year, we will be done. No more.

I did tell husband that since I can't have my 4th baby, I want a Compassion Child. I am hoping to get a little boy named Samuel, preferable Samuel Joseph. About 8 years old. I would be giddy as all get out. And Little Man would get his brother he has asked me about a few times over the years.

Terrible 2s, Inquisitive 4s and sassy 6s

2010-08-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

Each new age come with a new stage. Cute first year, then the fussy 1s, the terrible 2s, the trying 3s, the inquisitive 4s, the whiny 5s, the sassy 6s, the... well, we haven't gotten there yet. The more I talk to my friends with older kids, the more I hear: The older the child, the more interesting the stage.

My husband's grandmother has often said, little people, little problems. Bigger people, bigger problems. She is wise.

I have a two year old that when she is tired, hungry, or overstimulated is cantankerous with a capital C! She can not be reckoned with at all. If she isn't ready for her nap, I have learned I just have to say good night and walk out. She will cry a minute or two and then collapse. If I stand there and try to talk her into sleeping, she will just stand there. Stubborn! Love her, but she and her brother are the most stubborn children I know. God made them cute for a reason. :) She will also stand there, bold-faced and when I tell her to SIT on her chair.

My four year old daughter is an energetic delight. She is quick and cunning and loves to be sneaky. She is absolutely beautiful which makes it hard for me to discipline her, but I have to sometimes. She loves to run, jump, climb, explore and scare her mother half to death! She loves to play in water and makes the biggest messes. However, she is full of life, fun and laughter! She is probably the most like I was as a little girl.

My handsome six year old is a handful some moments, still cuddly and cute the next. He whines and throws fits to get his way to which I have to remain calm yet diligent to make him remove himself from the room. He has also been getting sassy with me lately. This gets him into trouble too. I won't have my six-year-old talking to me any worse than I want my 14 or 18 year old talking to me. I know it will probably only get worse from here until he us about 18 or 20, but the time to nip this back-talk in the butt is now.

I am in the most challenging stage right now. Having three young kids all in different development stages and trying to keep them from killing each other. Each day has its own adventure and I am trying to keep their days fun.

Stopping the Nail-Biting Habit ~ Week 3

2010-08-10T22:46:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been around three weeks since I stopped biting my nails, and I am SO super proud to report that I have yet to bite even one. This is HUGE for me!

Around this point, when I've tried to quit in the past, my nails actually start to feel kinda funny. The nail beds are healing and growing back and it's a sensation that I haven't felt in a while. It's kinda like a healing scab. Kinda itchy. I think this is why, in the past, I have been unsuccessful with quitting because I want to scratch and I can't. I just end up biting down my nails. But, not this time!

I read an article a few years ago about a nail clinic/rehab in Europe somewhere. I read that it could take up to a year and a half (I think) to fully recover my healthy nails. That seems like a long time, but I have no doubt that it could take that long.

I haven't started filing them yet. I want to see how this goes first. I am thinking about getting a manicure after a couple of months. Maybe learn some tricks on how to take care of them to get them to grow back healthily.

I am getting used to using my nails for things. Like picking up something flat off the floor or table. Scratching my head. Opening pages of a book.

Now, my nails aren't super long. Actually they are still relatively short. However, they are long for me. And I like them. In the past three weeks, I think they have grown 1/4 of an inch. That's a lot!

Most current pictures: 3 weeks, 2 days.

Bucket List

2010-08-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

I am not quite middle-aged, or at least what I would call middle-aged. When does one actually become middle-aged? Three of my grandparents were close to 80, so I guess I have a few more years. However, I have been thinking more and more about what I am doing and what I haven't done with my life.

Life highlights so far:
Born
Lived to tell of my childhood. Some rough spots, some fun.
Graduated high school, graduated art school.
Married my handsome husband 1998
My handsome son was born 2004
My pretty princess was born 2006
My beautiful little lady was born 2008

My ambitions in life:
Sing Professionally. Write my own songs and burn my own CDs.
Travel to Europe for two week.
Visit every state.
Learn how to knit/crochet.
Learn how to can my own vegetables.
Paint some pictures.
Go on a cruise to somewhere in the Caribbean.
Go back to school for accounting.
Plan a wedding for a friend.
Attend a birth and support the mother as a Doula.
Take a train trip with my husband and/or kids.
Take a vacation to New York City.
Finishing all my scrapbooks.
(Will add to this if I think of more)

There is so much that I still want to do with my life and so little time left, or so it seems. My life right now consist of snotty noses, dirty laundry, preschool, elementary school and finding my sanity in all of it. I often wonder when there will be more time for me and my goals. Some day, I guess.

I have decided that once all my kids are in school full-time, I will be taking a year off. No job. Then, goals like finishing my scrapbooks will be more obtainable. Just one year, maybe two. Then, maybe school time for this momma! :)

Added Posts

2010-08-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

I had a few posts saved but not published. For these see the following links:

Happy 12th Anniversary, Hubby! June 2, 2010

A Look Ahead July 11,2010

Stopping The Nail-Biting Habit ~ Week 2

2010-08-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

This week went very well. I have repainted my nails today in my favorite color. Not the best job but it makes my nails more visible in the pictures. (Next week: Darker Polish!)

Also, I am pleased to report that I have not bitten them this week. Not even once. This is kinda odd of me due to the fact that when I sit down to catch up on my favorite blogs and other websites, I bite my nails out of habit and in an attempt to stay awake.

So, great week! I need to keep working on this. I love that my nails are growing and getting longer. Not beautiful yet, but a little better than when I started this.

More pictures to show the progress:

On cloud nine!!!

2010-07-30T20:43:00.000-07:00

This week, I have been on the edge of my seat, emotionally, waiting for the arrival, even despite the many miles that separate us, of my dear friend's baby boy. I love babies and since having my own three, I have found that I still love babies, mine or yours. I have had this love for babies since I have been very little. I would cruise the crowd at weddings and families reunions where there was always a baby or two. And I would ask to hold them. Didn't matter than I didn't even know the mothers. I just found the babies and had to have them. So, when my dearest friends and relatives have babies, I am on cloud nine. This friend had her baby on Thursday. A healthy baby boy as cute as a button and a good mix of his dad and mom. So, congratulations, R, M and C!!

Also, this week, to cap things off nicely, another dear friend told me that she is expectant and I couldn't be happier. Not a ounce of jealousy, not a smidge of envy. Just happy. She and her husband have been trying for a little while. They have a little boy and I think it would be great if he had a little brother/sister. This just made my day.

This is an awesome week!

TGIFriday!

2010-07-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

My husband has been planning every little detail of a men's camping retreat for the past four months now. He is so detail oriented that he calculates everything, driving himself insane and me nuts. When each person is leaving. Who they are carpooling with. Where they are sleeping. What tasks they are helping with during the two days. How they are getting there and how they are coming home. What equipment they are using. The who, what, where, when and how is driving me crazy!

He left this afternoon for this trip. It will be interesting to see how well this weekend pans out. If the other men chip in more than they led him to believe. Hopefully all goes well.

My weekend should be fun! I hope to get the kids out into the sunshine and water. Other than that, my plans are up in the air.

Stopping Nail Biting Progress ~ Week 1

2010-07-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking of starting a blog to track my progress as I am trying really hard to stop biting my nails.

I have been doing this for about 29 years now and it's high time that I quit. I certainly don't want to make it to the 30th year anniversary for having such an adolescent behavior. I mean, really? This is nuts.

In the past, I have tried all kind of methods to quit. Chewing gum, nasty tasting nail polish, press-on nails, painting my nails a pretty color. All of these approaches have worked for a period, but nothing stuck.

I am hoping that the 30th year is approaching in over a year will be great motivation to get me to stop. I have my nails painted in my favorite color, even though, they need to be painted again. It's chipping off and doesn't look very nice. However, it's still keeping me from biting. So, that's good!

I began this the year I started kindergarten. The stress of school took it's toll and I reverted to the nail biting. So, it's way past high-time to stop.

I would love to go get a manicure someday and haven't had my fingernails done since I was getting ready to get married over 12 years ago. Even then, it was to get fake nails. The manicurist then was in shock with how short some of my nails were. However, they are shorter now than then due to the stress of raising three little ones.

Another good incentive to stopping would be that My Little Man might stop if he saw that Mom (me) has stopped too. He started ripping his off after he started kindergarten as well. That makes me sad that he is following in my footsteps with nail biting at his young age. I am trying to get him to stop by offering to buy him a Thomas the Tank Engine train or car(s). He would like to get something for his layout, but he is still ripping at his nails. He used to have really long strong nails. I had to cut his nails about every 2 weeks and even at that they were pretty long. My Little Princess, had bitten at her nails for a while. However, when I told her I would buy her a pair of fancy shoes and a "new" purse, she stopped almost right away. She got pretty iridescent sequined shoes (a couple sizes too big so she can wear them for a while) and a gold hand bag. She loves them!

So, here is a couple of pictures to start this out right. Honest without holding anything back...

Progressive Tuesday

2010-07-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

Today was, as was Monday, a very low key day. I am trying to get back into my normal routine with a little trouble. No motivation. None. I am so relaxed that even though the laundry is piling up and the floors need a through washing, I am just sailing along.

However, I was thinking about how my pictures need a little updating and backing up, so... I back up all my pictures from 2003 to July 2010. It took some time, but I am please it is done. Now to just get a few up on my pages online and I will be good to go.

Thirsty Thursday! ~ Weekend Plans

2010-07-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

As a stay-at-home mother of three children I have been chastised for my longings to have a life outside of the four walls of my home. This makes me feel guilty for even thinking of doing things without my family, but the longings remain. Then, I get the cabin fever, especially in the summer.

I live in a town four hours from any family capable of watching the kids. I am married to a man who is happy to stay at home rather than leave for a weekend trip. His story? He works hard to pay for a home that he barely lives in. He eats and sleeps there, but with work and travel to and from, there isn't much time to enjoy the house.

I have been making plans with a couple of gal pals to get away for the weekend. I could to go to a family reunion on Saturday, but I am starting to have hesitations about going. Let me list them:

1. Reunion starts at 6, my kids (if I took them) go to bed no later (usually) then 9 PM. The reunion is only going to be about 2 1/2 hours for me even though I will be traveling about 4 hours to get there... each way! And it's about 30 minutes away from my parent's home. So, it will be a weekend trip regardless, but is it really worth all the travel? I can hear my friend Rachel saying it is. She is hugely into family. However, I am not so sure.

2. I get asked so many questions about where my husband is every year that he doesn't go, which is most years, that I regret going just over the questions and needing to repeat the same answers. I have 1 uncle and 5 aunts plus their spouses plus 24 first-cousins and too many second-cousins (to my kids) to count! The family is huge!!

3. The reunion is in my aunt and uncle's barn which means the kids and I will need a bath after. Means grumpy kids in the bath and a late bedtime. Ugh!

4. If I go solo: no kids, no husband (I have thought about this angle), I have to put up with the family's questions about husband AND kids. Not fun!

5. Weekends out with my girlfriends are so much more fun! We karaoke, laugh, watch movies and spill our hearts to each other in a way I don't do with my parent's extended family.

The weekend plans consist of going to a major city, touring the hot spots, maybe heading to a beach within driving distance. Relaxing, laughing and having a good time.

I have been sitting around waiting for life to happen before kids were here and now that they are, I am tired of the waiting and want to make some memories while I am still young.

I would love to do this trip with the kids and husband but husband is content to stay at home, and I can't see me doing it alone just yet. The kids are only 6, 4 and almost 2. Maybe in two years or so.

Well, got to have a talk with the husband tonight before my packing up to go. He has given his consent to go at one point and is now a little hesitant. I think he was hoping for some time to work on car repairs, but I am hoping that we can work out a deal. All evenings next week to get the work done while I help him to prepare for his weekend away with the guys from church.

See? He gets weekends away too. :)

A Look Ahead

2010-07-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

I am wondering what I will be like in the next five years. I will be approaching a milestone birthday and am wondering a few things:

What body parts will begin to fail me? Will be health be the same?

How will I keep up with the kids? By then I will have a 11, a 9 and a 7-year-old. Yikes! When did I give these kids permission to get older?

What will I be doing with my time? My kids will be in school full time. All of them in elementary school still, but full day school nonetheless.

How will I handle turning another decade older?

I got to thinking about this when we were invited to a good friend's 40th birthday, and my sister's 30th is approaching.

Type A or B or C... con't.

2010-06-04T20:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, while analyzing some relationships that I am in, I was struck with a few ideas.

I get along with quite a few Type A personalities, but some I don't. I thought about that for a little while and analyzed my relationships with Type A friends and concluded that I don't get along with Type A firstborns. However, this isn't always true. There are a few firstborns that don't tell others what to do as firstborns are prone to do. I am stubborn and head strong and don't like unsolicited advise.

This is why I don't get along with my older sister. This isn't the greatest news, but it's something in my search for ways to try and get along with her. I feel like I have been given the missing piece to my puzzle that I have been looking for for my whole lifetime. It's refreshing.

However, it's aggravating too. I have been looking for a quick fix to our dilemma and I wasn't handed that. What I was given was just the "reason why" not the "how to" that I have been going for. I will just have to keep thinking about the how to. It will come to me.

I have been recently blessed with some friends that have been incredibly understanding in letting me bounce my ideas off of them. They have been so helpful and I appreciate them!

Happy 12th Anniversary, Hubby!

2010-06-02T00:46:00.000-07:00

For our 12th anniversary this year, I asked to be taken on the local tour ship for our celebration. We had a lovely time!

12 things that I am most thankful for about my husband:

* He loves me.
* He is faithful!
* He is a decent dad to our three children.
* He shares the same Christian morals and standards that I live by.
* He allows me the time to cultivate my friendships. He stays home with the kids when I go out.
* He makes me laugh and has a great sense of humor.
* He plans great family vacations even though he hates camping.
* He loves my family.
* He puts up with a messy house and some disorganization.
* He is willing to let me do the things that I as a person enjoy. (Scrapbooking, music, time with friends, etc.)
* He is a great mechanic and does this despite how much he has grown to hate working on cars.
* He is a good date!

Thanks for the evening cruise! And thanks for our 12 years together.

Love,
ME

Type A or B or C?

2010-06-02T00:27:00.000-07:00

I have been contemplating my relationships with certain people lately and wonder how some work and how some take so much effort.

Take the fact that a bunch of my very close friends are type A personalities and I get along with them well. Then, there is my older sister who is also a Type A, and we get along very little. I thought for a moment about her and I and reasoned with myself that it's because she is Type A and I am not. Then, I was struck with the thought that most of my close friends are type A and that dispelled that theory. So, I was at a loss again. Still am.

I decided to take an on-line test to see what Type I am. I was surprised and impressed with the detail that went into the test. It made me think and I tried to answer very carefully.

As a child, and still as an adult, my mother thinks I was a lazy child. It took a lot to motivate me to do things. I am not convinced that I was lazy. I was just not that motivated to do things and I had to WANT to do them. I am still that way today. I can let a project sit in my path or wait on me endlessly. But, when I finally get the motivation up to tackle the awaiting project, watch out! I am like a bull in a China Shop. I tackle it with gusto!

Well, after careful consideration and deciding already that I was probably going to be labeled with whatever type the lazy person would be, I was impressed that I am a pretty healthy middle-ground Type B. Not lazy, not always-needing-to-be-doing-something. Just Type B. I can take that. I couldn't agree more.

Weekend away and home again!

2010-05-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

I took kids and husband and we went to visit with my family who lives just south east of us. The time was good and everyone seems genuinely glad to see each other.

It was a special get-together for all of us. My one brother-in-law grew up in Kenya and he took my sister with him to visit and see family members he has not seen in a while. While there they got to see some amazing stuff. Animals in their natural habitat, a tribe of people who have stayed with their traditional customs and ways of life, and many other things that made the trip a once-in-a-lifetime event.

My sister came back with nice gifts for everyone. The men all got a African-styled shirt. The women all got jewelry. Mom got a African-styled outfit with blouse, skirt and scarf. (I will have to add pictures of some of this stuff. The outfit was awesome!) Dad got a wood-carved lion figure. My sis and brother-in-law brought tea and coffee from Kenya for whoever wanted it. The kids all got books. It was fun!

I enjoy these visits but am also glad to come home again. I am near my own surroundings and near where I have made a life. I miss my family, but my life here was waiting for me.

This is something new to me. I have always wanted to move back to where I grew up to raise my own family. However, I know if I did this, I would miss my life, my new friends and the places that I go to have fun. Sure, I would find new friends and find new places to hang my hat, but for once I can say that I am glad to be back.

Thank you, Lord, for contentment, even if it's just for today!

Progessive Tuesday? No sleep!

2010-05-18T02:45:00.000-07:00

I got into bed early last night with the intention of reading for a little while before getting back up to brush teeth, wash face, etc. Never made it back out again. Sometime after a page or two, I fell desperately asleep and woke again at, get this... FOUR O'CLOCK!!!

I am very sleep deprived at this point in my life and I need to amend this immediately. This is a good example of why. My body just isn't just isn't used to more than 6 hours of sleep. This is ridiculous!

Over two years ago, pregnant with baby #3, I hit a wall with my sleep deprivation and couldn't get off the couch for about three months due to my lack of sleep combined with my new pregnancy. It was hard because I had two other children to take care of. Needless to say, they were allowed to watch a lot of videos during that time.

I will probably not be getting pregnant again, however, this is still no excuse to continue to abuse myself. My bad habit affects more than me, it affects my whole family. I really need to take better care of myself. Plus, my oldest will be in full day school next year and I am afraid at the way my days are now, that I will have a hard time, come fall, getting him to school on time. Not good.

Plus, I have a wager going with my mother, who also doesn't get enough sleep, on who can make it to 60 combined, not necessarily consecutive, days of good sleep. The wager? Dinner out on the loser. I really need a dinner out. :) I should get my butt to sleep and win this.

Hectic Monday ~ Laundry Day!

2010-05-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

Still feeling sore from weekend, I woke to kid mayhem. My son and older daughter getting into mischief and younger daughter in crib whining to get out. Ugh! Hello, Monday!

I go to the bathroom to pee and wake up a tad before dealing with them. Oh, dear! There, staring at me from the closet, are loads and loads of laundry. All need done today before the whole family starts running out of clothes. There were two loads of whites, about 2 1/2 loads of darks, a load of towels and I know that some of our sheets need done. I usually don't mind laundry, but when I let it pile up like this, it's a pain!

I get the kids dressed and we head down to kitchen to get breakfast and start our day. After breakfast, I get the kids and I back upstairs so that I can take my 8 minute shower and get dressed myself. By the time I am dressed it's time to get son lunch and get him ready for school.

After he is off on the bus, I got the girls fed and I start the agonizing task of sorting and loading the ton of laundry. Not too bad. The carrying all the laundry wasn't feeling all that great on my shoulder and neck, but the work must get done.

I want to put some of it out on the line, however, it looks like rain. Plus, we have bird issues. We had gutters and fascia pull off the house a couple months ago when the major thaw happened, so now we have birds inside the house near the attic. Birds + nest = new baby birds. The roofer was here last week repairing our front porch roof, but he didn't have time to repair the gutter, so the birds remain. Each time they come and go from the nest, they might drop, leaving dirt on my clean clothes. So, I opt not to leave the clean clothes out on the line.

I work on washing the clothes all throughout the day, and I am about done. I just have to go down and fold a load or two before hitting the sack. I am pretty tired as it is.

I am anticipating a (working) visit from my mother in a couple days. I need to get a lot of work done before she gets here so that I can complete some bigger projects when she is here to help. Then, my father will arrive a couple days after her. So looking forward to that!

Ah, hello, Monday! Here's to a great, but busy, week!

Relaxing Sunday

2010-05-02T13:06:00.000-07:00

Today is a day that is spent with everyone but me in bed. Everyone lays down for a couple hours and I spend that time checking out my Facebook page or scrapbooking. Sometimes I take a nap. Most of the time not.

I would probably be sleeping today except my back and neck are hurting pretty bad. I wrote about this yesterday. I just had too much fun when my back was vulnerable to too much activity and dancing all night was not a good idea.

Would I do it again? Certainly. Maybe not as much dancing or for as long had I known it would hurt like this, but it was fun and I needed the vent.

So, here I sit, a little sleepy from sleeping in a chair last night due to the pain in my neck, a ton sore. Not regretting the fun I had. :)

Fun Saturday

2010-05-01T22:53:00.000-07:00

I know I am a little late getting this post written...

After seeing the play my friend was in on Friday night, she welcomed me and another friend to the cast after-play party. There was food and music to dance to. It was a lot of fun.

Then this morning after getting in very late and being very very tired, my darling husband let me sleep in. Sleep in, in fact, to 1 PM! Boy, did I need that! However, I woke with the worst neck pain. I could not move my neck in either direction, but least of all, to the left. It's my troublesome side, anyhow, since I am left-handed and I have carried my (big) children for the last 6 years. Anyhow, I was very sore and could not move. So, I took a shower and decided, despite the fact that I was stiff, to get something done with the day. I took the older two of my children to a consignment sale and then took them to pick up some groceries. When I got home, all I wanted to do was lay down with a heat pad or an ice pack and veg. I can't believe how sore I am.

So, the next time I plan to go dancing the night away, I am going to have to stretch beforehand. Now, how old does that make me feel? Ugh!

TGIFriday

2010-04-30T04:14:00.000-07:00

Been looking forward to this day for a little while now. See, my friend is playing a part in the play How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying with a local Theater Guild. I am so in the mood for a little me time. Just hanging with my other close friend seeing our mutual friend's play. Should be a lot of fun! I am looking for some laughs, some cries, and a really good time. It's a shoe in! :)

On another note, this morning, I had a talk with husband. I have been down and wasn't really sure what got me here. A few weeks ago, I went away overnight to a Women's Retreat with my church. Didn't stay overnight with the rest of the ladies at church, instead I chose to stay at a friend's house who lives local to the location of the retreat. Anyhow, I didn't get asked to share a room, so I figured instead of worrying about who I was staying with, I would just see if my friend would like to have my company. Also, recently, the close friends I had made at church, for different valid reasons, decided to move to other churches. So, I am not real close to the remaining young women my age. The retreat itself was good and would have been better for me had I not been distracted thinking about how lonely I was there and at church each Sunday. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am involved at church. I am in the Worship Team, I attend the Saturday morning women's breakfasts when we have them. I just need to reach out more and be a friend if I want to make some friends. Talking about my loneliness and my disconnectedness at church with my husband made me feel so much better. I had been thinking that I didn't feel that close to my husband and that what I really needed was to be treated, by him, as a best friend, and I got it. It's so awesome how God can use my loneliness to bridge the gap between my husband and I. It's too bad that I let that loneliness I felt at church come between us. But, God can always reserve what we do, for His Glory, if we let him.

Have a great day! I know I'm going to!!

Thirsty Thursday

2010-04-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

I really like to sing. I have been singing for as long as I can remember. Singing at church when I was 4 or 5, on the school bus, at home, mowing lawns as a preteen and teenager, in the shower, in my car, for my friends, in the choir, for my husband, in the worship team at church, for nursing home residents, for my kids, and lastly singing karaoke.

This has become my most recent passion. I love singing for crowds of people and loudly. It energizes me and I love the knots that form in my stomach when I know that my turn is coming up. I love the adrenaline rush and the shakes in my hands that I get after I belt it out with Whitney Houston, Bette Midler, Sheryl Crow or Jewel. I like the attention, I admit it. It's fun!

I hate it when don't get the words right or miss a note. I don't like to make mistakes. However, I realize it's either A) not the song for me or B) I need to practice it some more.

I love going out with friends and having a cheering squad with me. It's fun to listen with friends to the other people singing and make comments amongst ourselves about the other people.

I haven't been out to sing karaoke in about 2 weeks and I really need to. I have just about got Foolish Games by Jewel wore thin in my mind. I got started on Jewel years ago by my younger sister and recently, I pulled my CD out and got hooked on Foolish Games.

So, that's my thirst today. Crooning it out with Jewel, singing about men and their foolish games.

Daily Blog Schedule

2010-04-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

Due to the ever-present lack of creative ideas, I am going to try what I've heard other people are doing. Coming up with a daily topic schedule. Here is mine:

Relaxing Sunday
Hectic Monday
Progressive Tuesday
Getting-over-the-hump Wednesday
Thirsty Thursday (Less to do with drinking than you might think.)
TGIFriday
Fun Saturday

I may not always get to blog each day, but now I have a writing topic when I am able to sit and write. I may not always use this, but it's there when I want to write and am having writer's block.

Enjoy!

Happy Bithday, Little Man!

2010-04-22T20:40:00.000-07:00

Six years ago, today, I was blessed with a sleepy little baby boy. A little over 7 pounds of cuteness laying in my tired arms. I was blessed, tired, anxious, happy, confused and overwhelmed.

Today he is working on his words and numbers, goes to elementary school, had lots of friends and still loves good ole Thomas the Tank Engine.

I am amazed that 6 years has gone by this quickly. Sure, people warned me. It will go fast, savor every moment of everyday, they said. Did I? No. Not like I should have. Maybe in the beginning when it was just him and I. But, these days I am also tending to his younger sisters. So, the days raced by with no chance of hitting rewind, even for a second. It's here then gone.

I am going to try a little harder to capture those moments and hold them with all my might. That one day, when he is grown and gone, I will at least have the memories to savor and hold within my heart.

My Kids vs. Your Kids.

2010-04-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

My kids are wonderful and smart and funny and cute and sweet and handsome/pretty and rock my world. Your kids are nice, but not quite as much. Oh, come on! You know you think the same thing. It's inevitable, every parent thinks their child/ren are amazing and that all other kids in the world are just not quite as perfect.

My children are superior in another way too. Pushing my buttons.

My Little Man is a great whiner. He cried and puts on such a show that you would think we tore apart his favorite toy the way he goes on sometimes. He can be very dramatic when he is tired or hungry or not feeling well. And it grates on my nerves. Princess is so high energy that she has a hard time stopping herself and just flutters through life. She doesn't hear me whether I whisper or scream sometimes (did I just write that?) and it's exhausting trying to teach her how or why to do things because she doesn't seem to focus. Darling is content in life unless she is tired, hungry or a toy is being taken away from her. She is the lowest on our family totem pole and she gets irritated being pushed around all the time. She screams to get my attention or to get her way.

Before I became a mother, I was a nanny for a family with one child. He was very colicky as a baby. From 4 months old (when I started working for them) till he was about six months old, I walked, rocked and sang to him, up to two hours, to help him through his more difficult part of his day, evening. Upon leaving this position, when he was almost two, his mother wrote a letter of recommendation for me in which she wrote that I was very patient with their tenacious little one. And he was tenacious.

I have been very surprised with myself over the years to find out that I am not as patient with my own as I was with that one little boy. I always thought that I would be very patient with my little blessings. I was very surprised how much they push my buttons and send me into the red zone.

I had a rude awakening this week when I read my friend's blog about her husband's response when their toddler ruined the cover on his rare, collectible book. I know I don't respond that way, even though I know I should.

Yet, I also know that I am still more patient with other people's children. See, those children haven't yet learned how to push my buttons. However, my kids are still superior because they have learn how to break ME. Smart little boogers!

Busy Cleaning Day!

2010-04-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

I have been cleaning a lot around here lately. Today I had so much going on that I didn't see my kids much until 6:30ish.

I overslept this morning. I was supposed to pick up a few friends to go to the women's prayer breakfast. I woke up at 8:45, was supposed to pick them up at 8:15 to 8:30 and had a 20 minute drive once they were all picked up. Ugh! I raced around the house getting ready while the kids were still in their room. Thank goodness, I didn't have time for any tearful or drawn-out goodbyes.

Then, home again around 12:30 to empty house. Well, this was nice. I came in, put on grubbier clothes and set about working on the third floor of our home. I worked on the third floor until 6:30ish with only a few short visits from my older two kids. I got so much done!

It's getting better each time I work on it. I can see most of the floor now and my art desk is cleaned off. I am almost done clearing off the third of my scrapbooking tables. I am soon ready to invite someone over to scrapbook with me. Yippie! I still have a ways to go, but it's a huge difference from earlier this week. The guest bed is also uncovered and made, ready for company.

I have two laundry baskets worth of stuff to be put away, donated or given away. Hope to accomplish getting them put away this next week.

There is a pile of papers to be filed away in the filing cabinet. The third floor closet and surrounding area needs some attention. I will eventually have hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of baby food jars to sell. Know of anyone who wants them? They are cleaned and scraped of all glue. They have lids too. Anyhow, I am thinking craigslist. Also, I have some clothes that I need to get rid of. Nice stuff, just things that I don't wear anymore. Need to clear it out!

I need to find a new place to store the Christmas tree. Doesn't seem that hard of a task. However, in front of the storage space where we used to keep it are boxes and boxes of kids clothes that son has outgrown. Might need to dig my way back to the storage door and stash the tree away.

So, it was nice to get some things done today and do more straightening up, but it was also nice to see my kids and put them into bed too. I am truly grateful for my husband and his willingness to let me be to clean. Overall the house is looking better and I am getting more and more proud of our home.

Traveling with Kids

2010-04-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

When my husband and I were first married, I didn't travel much to see my family. There is a 3 3/4 hour trip between us and since my husband doesn't really enjoy traveling that much, we didn't go see them very often. Just 3 - 4 times a year. Maybe more if you count the camping trips or the weddings and funerals.

After my husband and I started having children, I tried visiting more and getting my family involved in our lives. We still didn't visit as much as I would have liked. Now that our children are 6, 3 1/2 and 19 months, I have been traveling with the kids alone to see my family and have been doing this about once a month since Christmas.

I can't tell you how much fun this is for me. Now only do I get to see my family, but I also get a sense of freedom and empowerment that I can do it! I am not sure what made me wait this long to do it, but it's fun and I am enjoying it!

The sad part about this is we are now in school years, so I have to schedule trips to see family with the school schedule, like when there is an extended weekend or something. However, we are having a blast seeing family so often.

I have been getting questions like, doesn't your husband like us or something? I quickly explain it away with, he just isn't into traveling that much and I love it. Or, telling them that he is home busy with a home improvement project. Which is the truth.

My goal for this summer is to take the kids on a camping trip or two, just us. My husband really isn't into camping at all. He only goes for our sake and for the fact that we can't afford to rent a hotel room for a weekend much less a week! So, I have to figure out where to go, and what we are going to do while there.

Anyhow, traveling with kids isn't all that hard; not near as hard as i thought it would be and I have been enjoying our busy traveling plans for a little while now. Can't wait to see when we can go again.

Still riding the fence

2010-04-12T12:27:00.000-07:00

...But I am about to fall off on the other side soon, I think.

I am still kinda contemplating whether or not I want more kids. Namely, just one more. My husband isn't keen on the idea of more, he is done, really. I, on the other hand, am just not sure.

I don't get much support where I am now. I am a stay at home mother. I have a few friends that I get together with occasionally for laughs, movies or shopping, but I don't rely on them for babysitting. We are an hour away from his mother who doesn't drive up this way at all. And we are over three hours away from my parents. They come here not much more than 3 or 4 weekends a year. My husband has a good job and works long hours there.

I know I need to just resign myself to the three beautiful kids we have, I am just having a hard time compromising myself to this.

After baby one, I got the blues and it lifted after a few weeks. I got the postpartum depression after baby 2 and didn't get medicated. It was a horrible year after she was born. I was certain I would get the depression again after baby 3, so I walked out of the hospital with a 'script in hand. I wasn't taking any chances. I am not sure that I really want to go through that again. I took some work on my part to make a good connection with baby #2 after the depression wore off and I feel remorse over her first year when I was so down.

Also, I believe in nursing my kids till they are 12 months old. I pumped and nursed as long as I could and was able to feed breast milk to both my middle child and my youngest until they were 12 months old. It was draining and I am not sure that I want to go there either.

My husband and I are getting on better terms lately and I know if I were to be expecting a fourth child, we would be very close to over. It would stress him out that much, I think, that he might leave me. Well, maybe not, but do I want to chance it? No. My family means a lot to me and I want to keep us together.

I don't really want to bring up my age because I am not old, but three pregnancies have already taken their toll on my body. After baby #2 and #3 I wasn't able to deliver the placenta as I should have and had to have them surgically removed. The chances of it happening again are pretty high. Not life-threatening, but still something to consider. Also, I must take into account the number of years older I will be and my husband will be than a fourth child. I am in my mid-thirties and my husband in his late-thirties. So we will be getting close to seventy and seventy-five-ish when our child is our current ages.

There are so many reasons listed here that I know it's the smart choice to stop and be content with my family as it is. I had just always thought I would have a big family with an even number of kids with equal number of kids from both genders.

So, speakig of that, what are the chances really that I would have another boy? 50/50. So, if we didn't, that would be one boy to three girls? I know my son would like to have a brother, but what if we had anther girl? I would be up to my eye balls in boys, make-up and chatter through the teens years. And if we did have another boy? The two sons would be 6 3/4 years apart by my calculations. Too big of a gap for there to be a real serious bond there anyhow. I am thinking a dog would help. LOL!

Anyhow, I guess I am done counting the reasons up against me. I think I have enough to make a solid case.

Cleaning my house!

2010-04-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

The winter blues sneaked in there right after my postpartum depression and I didn't even realize it. I allowed the house to get downright disastrous and on Friday I was up to my eyeballs in disgust and threw an outright temper tantrum. Luckily for my family it only lasted about three minutes. Just enough time to pick up a bundle of papers and set them flying. I realized what I was doing and calmed down right then and there. However, it was dinner, the meal was prepared. It was just a matter of serving it and the family eating. Instead of eating with them, I dug into that mess of papers and clutter and by about midnight that evening, the floor was clean again.

It felt so good to get that floor seen and clean again that I decided to start working on my arch-enemy. The third floor. It's messy and cluttered and an absolute eye-sore! I would have been so embarrassed if my mother would have seen it as it was. I tore into it this afternoon and by now it's not perfect, but it's a lot better than I thought I could have made it. It's a proud day for me. :)

There was enough boxes and bags on the floor to certify myself as a junk-food junkie! It was astonishing. Actually I am pretty embarrassed to write that and I could certainly erase it, but owning up to it will only make me more proactive in cleaning up after myself in the future.

The scrapbooking tables were three before I started because each table had its own little pile of clutter sitting on a corner or a side. It was frustrating. So, each pile of that useless clutter got moved to one table. Then, I consolidated all the scrapbooking things to two tables. Now, my goal of having a friend come over to scrapbook with me is more achievable. I just need to get rid of the remaining clutter.

The guest bed was hidden by clothes and boxes. I moved the boxes and sorted the clothes. I had lent my maternity clothes out and recently received them back. I sorted though those and repacked them. I came up with a bags-worth of maternity clothes that aren't mine. I will be returning them because my boxes are full enough as it is. Now, I need to get the sheets and make the guest bed.

I took some unused shelves out of the kids' room and am utilizing them by storing my sewing fabric on them. I moved all my sewing things back up to the third floor. Now, with the use of those shelves, the fabric and sewing things are neat and tidy. And with one scrapbooking table almost empty, I can use it to sew on when that time comes.

I need to clean the 3rd floor bathroom and empty the tub of blocks that I have been meaning to do for months now. It's a bathroom that isn't used much. Mostly for guests. However, the kids would love those blocks but the blocks must be wash out before they can play with them.

The major task left is to make a space for my art table. Although I need to think here. Do I really need that table? I haven't used it much over the last 13 years since I received it. Should I sell?

I am expecting company next month and want this floor to be in tip-top shape. Better than it's ever been. I expect that I will have this house in better shape by end of week. That would be nice. I am so glad that the winter is over and the blues have left. I hate being cold and have very little motivation when I am chilly.

Amazing Day!

2010-03-30T21:10:00.000-07:00

Am amazed that my tooth extraction only took 15 minutes for an impacted wisdom tooth that was coming in crooked. I was sure that the drill would be used. When they paused I thought they were going to go get the drill, yet they informed me they were all done. 15 Minutes!! Wow!

Am amazed that it took over an hour to fill three prescriptions at Wal-mart. There wasn't a super long line, but it was so busy!

Am amazed that the babysitter was so patient despite the tardiness of my return home. She is a God-send!

Am amazed at how beautiful it was outside today despite the fact that we had feet of snow everywhere just weeks ago! Thank you, God for Spring and sun and warmth!

Am amazed how well I feel after having a tooth extracted today. Feeling a bit of soreness in my jaw and cheek, but other than that i am doing great! Can't touch my face much or lean my head over to the side, but it's all good!

I am Amazed!

Playground Pet Peeves

2010-03-19T20:24:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it's been six months since I've even visited my blog page. Way too long.

I had a few thoughts today as I sat at the local playground watching my kids play with their friend. What is up with playground snobbery? The kids play well, but the moms seem to have their cliques. I hate sitting at the playground somewhat to myself while other moms talk amongst themselves. I know the one mom. We have children in the same class at school. Oh, I tried including myself in the conversation several times, but it's kinda hard when their backs are turned towards me and the only reason they look at me is because I've tried to join in the conversation. This is exactly why after 12 years of living in the same town that I only have a handful of friends that I am close to.

Another thought I have had is what is up with older kids these days who use foul language around younger children and adults. As a preteen and a teenage, I would not have had the gall to talk like that, especially in front of an adult. I guess if they hear it at home, it's going to come out no matter who is around or where they are. Kinda sad.

Really the only reason I go to the playground is for my kids. They like being around other kids and playing on the bigger equipment. Our backyard is nice, but it's small. We have a swing set, a twisted slide, a sand box and a tree house. It's a lot of fun. It's just not the same as being where the other kids are. Just wish I had another friend who has kids the same age as mine and who lived local.

Just another thought. Please, people, pitch your cigarette butts!!

I guess that would be all for tonight.

A thought on my life choices

2009-12-12T01:51:00.000-08:00

12/12/09
Life with three children is tremendously busy and hectic. I do love my life. However, it leave little room for wasting away. I have to carefully choose what I do on the internet as if i get too busy with foolishness, I won't have time for the things that I really like to do.

For example, my computer was broken for about 4 weeks. In that time, I devoted more time to my husband and our marriage became better. I got more sleep and was a better mom to the kids. I had some time to spare for the scrapbooks and raced through several months in the 2003 book.

Now that I am back on, for instance, I have been up all night commenting on my friend's blog and cruising around on facebook. I have not slept and will be exhausted in the morning. This is not good. I really need to get off of here and get some rest.

04/13/10
Fast forward a few months, and I am back where I was before the computer broke. Exhausted, wasting time on the internet. However, my house isn't quite as neglected as it once was. Thank goodness for Spring! I am reminded by this old post, stuck in drafts, that time is precious and not to waste it on things that in this lifetime are really meaningless.

Done

2009-09-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

Well, after one year and almost two weeks. I am done. Nursing, pumping and feeding breast milk to my baby.

How did I do it, you might ask. Very carefully. Let me explain.

Ever since my kids are old enough to sleep through the night, I have pumped off one bottle's worth of milk in the morning. Since baby #3 has slept through the night since the age of 3 month, I have had a lot of milking time put in. It was exhausting, but here in the end it has been rewarding. See, I stopped nursing about 50 days ago, but still fed her some breast milk today. I had 200 bags of 6 ounces of milk each stocked away in the freezer. (I know I did this but I am still shocked that I was able to do it. :O )

Now that she has been successfully weaned over to whole milk, I am super proud of my efforts and glad that she had that nutritional start to her diet. And just glad that the pumping and time into that process are over. (Whoo-hoo!)

I did not diet in the time, but have somehow managed to get back in my pre-preggo clothes. I still have my problem areas, but think that in time, I will get back into the shape I want to be in. I stress that i didn't diet because I think if I had, it would have messed up my production. I also ate whatever and whenever I wanted just as if I was pregnant because making milk is very stressful and the body need to be replenished for it's efforts. At least that is what I told myself.

I didn't have a really nice pump and if I had known how much I was going to make over this year's time, I might have gotten a nicer one. However, this might be our last child and if she is, I couldn't see spending that money.

I can not tell you how much I have enjoy getting dress without thinking how I will be able to lift one side to nurse. Oh, it's been so freeing to not have to worry about that! I also have enjoyed not being the only one to feed her. The older children occasionally ask to hold her bottle for her and sometime Daddy will help too.

I have not drank anything alcoholic for the last six years. See, I got pregnant with child #1 and nursed him for about 11 months. Six month later and no drinking between, I became pregnant with child #2. After she was born and weaned at 12 month old, I again didn't drink and then became pregnant with child #3. Now that she is weaned, I have been drinking. That's nice. I am not a heavy drinker to say the least. But it's nice to not have to think about how this will effect my baby.

Even though nursing is great for baby, not everyone can do as I have done. I am a stay-at-home mother. If I worked outside the home, this plan would have been virtually impossible. I also have abandoned my home so that I could focus on nursing her.

Glasses

2009-04-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

Well, my handsome son had a optician visit today to see if he needs glasses. He was screened about a month ago for Kindergarten and the lady thought he should be seen. I was hoping that she is wrong and that his lack of confidence was the issue and not poor eyesight.

I have had to wear glasses since third grade and my husband since fifth grade. My parents both wear glasses as well as both my in-laws. I guess you could say that my kids are almost destined to wear glasses.

So, he started his eye exam and I couldn't believe that he couldn't see some of the letters. Now, I know that he is only five, but he knows all his letters very well. However, during the test, he kept getting them wrong. I was a little confused and surprised. Well, the doctor told me that my darling son has a major astigmatism in both eyes. Very disappointing. However, I am counting my blessings. He is healthy, strong and loved. He is well-fed, clothed and has shoes on his feet. He doesn't worry for food, a warm bed or a bath. So his eyes need a little help. At least he isn't blind or deaf. I really need to count my blessings and not get all upset over his need of glasses.

The office sent home a few pair of frames for us to choose from. I am in favor of the blue pair. It's one of his favorite colors and they look nice on him. I am hoping that he gets them soon so that he can wear them to my sister's wedding in May.

Hot Sister!

2009-04-09T21:56:00.000-07:00

Since becoming a stay-at-home mom about 5 years ago, I have really watched how much I spend on clothes, my hair and shoes. I just don't spend much money on myself or my children. I love shopping at thrift stores, yard sales and consignment shops and love finding deals. If I shop at department stores I have a hard time buying because things are more expensive and I hate paying even when things are on sale.

Due to this I don't always dress as I wish I did. I have three sisters, two of which dress impeccably. I wish I had half their wardrobes. However, one of these two sisters in getting married soon and I need to get a new dress for the occasion. Since I am nursing a baby, I have to get a skirt suit or a two piece dress.

I decided that I am going to look hot. I don't want to outshine the bride, but I am not settling either. I looked at the mall TWICE. I couldn't find what I wanted. I looked at second-hand stores. Nothing. I did some more shopping and found THE suit. These are some of the runner's up:

And this is the one I am going with:

I feel so pretty in this suit. I just need a new pair of shoes and a handbag to carry. I can't wait!!

So, so busy!

2009-04-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've blogged here. I am so busy. Keeping up with three kids is crazy. I understand why people have less kids these days. I love all three of my kids and I wouldn't trade them for the world. However, I am a little stretched.

My oldest is getting ready for kindergarten and is so excited. We've been up to his school and he can't wait for school to begin in the fall. His younger sister is busy and has always been. She climbs or jumps or runs around everything. I am looking into a one-or two-day-a-week preschool for her to attend in the fall. I think she will love that. Their baby sister is rolling all over the floor. She has been getting up on her knees and getting ready to crawl. That is so exciting!

I can't believe that I am going to be a mom of a kindergartner and a preschooler. Where did the last five years go? I was warned that before I knew it I would have a child going to school and to enjoy them while I could. And I have, but could I just go back in time and hold my babies once again? Kiss them a little more, read another book. Stop and enjoy the quiet moments instead of rushing again?

This really is an exciting time in my life. I can hardly keep up with them, but there is so much to enjoy. Reading books and drawing with my almost five year old. Racing after my active and energentic girl. Holding and talking with my nursing baby. I love this time in my life and can't wait for future chapter to unfold.

Stuck at home (and missing the Superbowl party)

2009-02-01T13:59:00.000-08:00

Now, first and foremost, I love my life as a stay at home mom. I wouldn't trade it for a million bucks. I have dreamed of having kids all my life and like raising them.

I would, however, like a little more freedom. I would like a couple weeks' worth of vacation days and a sick day or two a year. Some companies give personal days with which the employee can do whatever the heck they want to. I would like a little compensation for my time as well as for my over-time. I would love to have bonuses for putting in time on the weekends. And how about a raise? An award for years with the company? How about a company Christmas party to go to for fun?

Nope. None of these are for me. I work day in and day out. I don't get time off, or rewards for my time. I don't get sick days. I have to pray the kids don't eat each other alive when I am down and out. (Luckily, I don't get sick very often.) I don't get my own vacation days. The vacations I take are for the kids and I have to plan and prepare them myself. I don't get to rest much on these vacations either. I am too busy taking the kids to the park or the pool to rest.

I do get compensated for my time though. I get peanut-butter-and-jelly kisses, snotty-nosed pleas for cuddles and sticky-finger hugs. I receive scribble-drawn pictures of trains, suns, trucks, and whatever else they think to drawn. I am the A-1 top-pick for bath time scrubs, bedtime tuck-ins, potty clean-ups, walk hand-holds, and book readings. And, you know, that's great! What a compliment!

But, thinking of the future, when the kids are in college and getting married, I am going to look back on these days and wish I was stuck at home again. I won't care that I wasn't even thanked enough, if I could just once more hold my kiddos in my arms and kiss them without them wiggling free.

So, I think I will peek in at my three resting children and say a short prayer thanking God for keeping me "stuck at home" (even if I have to miss the Superbowl).

Trying to stop the unstoppable

2009-01-07T13:41:00.000-08:00

This has been a bad habit that has followed me almost my whole life. Since I was about 5 or 6 years old. That is a long time. It's the habit of biting my nails.

After all these years of gnawing away at them, they are very short and incredibly unattractive. They are so short that often times they are painful. I don't like showing off my hands or my rings because people will look that them and see how ugly they are. I don't even like talking about them because then people usually divert their eyes to my hands which are embarrassing to me. I hide my nails a lot and am very uncomfortable having them seen.

I have tried many things to stop but nothing has worked yet. I tried the chewing gum. Please! I am currently chewing on a piece of gum. I can't even begin to tell you how much gum I have chewed over the years to try and keep my fingers out of my mouth. Sometimes that works. Sometimes not. I could easily bite my nails at the same time. Have done just that. Gross, yes. But do-able. I have tried the old nail polish that taste bad. I just make myself sick trying to scrap it off with my teeth. Doesn't deter me much. I haven't tried that one in a while because I have three little ones that I need to take care of and sometimes I have to put my fingers in their mouths. I have tried the fake nails. I chew them off. I have equally tried painting my fingernails to hide the pretty white part that shows that I usually bite away at. That works for a little until the polish starts chipping. I have thought about every possible way to force myself to keep my fingers out of my mouth. Most of my ideas aren't feasible or would be too expensive.

My habit was always pretty bad. I do it without thinking. It helps me to stay awake when i am tired and driving or watching TV because it gives me something to do and prevents me from sleeping. I do it when i am bored or anxious. It has just gotten worse since having three children in the last five years. I tried stopping while pregnant and did OK with baby #1, but after his birth, I gnawed them all down getting used to breastfeeding. Since then, I have not had much success trying to stop. I am good for a day or two, then, I chew them down again.

Then, one day I was searching online and came across an article about a nail clinic in Europe (?) somewhere. I read that they use a mouth guard to help keep teeth from biting. So, I thought I would give it a try. I have ground my teeth in the past so I talked to my dentist about getting a guard for me to wear. We decided on a style that I can wear at all times during the day. Luckily for me, our insurance helped pay for it. It will be interesting to see if this works. So, far it seems to me that it will.

No Chocolate

2009-01-06T12:56:00.000-08:00

I have not been eating chocolate for the past four weeks. Maybe a little longer. I am not sure exactly when I started it, but I have not eating any chocolate except when I slipped a couple of times. This is very hard for me because I had been eating it quite a bit before this fasting started.

I ate chocolate with my breakfast, in the mid-morning and you name it, all the way through the day. Some of my indulgences were M&M's, Riesens (sp?), cookies, cocoa, chocolate ice cream, etc. I couldn't get enough of the stuff. I had put on some weight with my third pregnancy. My daughter was born on September 2008. So, I made excuses that I was allowed all this chocolate to help me with all the stress of taking care of three young kids. I used it to reward myself while I did my chores- cleaning, laundry, making meals. Finally, I saw the error of my ways and decided to take a break from the sweet stuff for a while.

It was hard the first couple days. I think I had depleted my supply so going after it was not a problem. I didn't have any left. But, I still craved it. After a week, I didn't need it as much and I stopped looking for it. After about three weeks I messed up a little and had a brownie with my vanilla ice cream. I figured that was an honest mistake, those will happen. I jumped right back into my fasting of chocolate and have been pretty good since.

I have noticed (surprise, surprise) that I have been losing a little weight. Yeah! I might take my friend up on her offer to go and get some work done in a few years (tummy tuck)(just kidding), but the weight is coming off. I am a little flabby from giving birth to three kids, but I feel better and I am fitting in smaller jeans.

So, my break from chocolate is working one way that I did not intend. I am losing some weight that I don't want to carry around. I really did it so that i wasn't controlled by the stuff. I needed to get my mind on something else. Me. Getting me happier, more healthy and in better shape.

Hello, 2009!

2008-12-31T13:36:00.000-08:00

Well, the time has come to say good-bye once again to a year. Good bye, 2008. You have taught me much.

That I can be a mother to three and still retain my sanity. That I can remain where I don't want to be and still be happy and at peace. That a little patience goes a long way and a word not spoken is often a good thing. You have taught me that I don't have to put up with other's behavior but I don't have to be mean or ugly about it either. And most importantly you have taught me that I don't have to be perfect to be lovable. I can light up a room if I just let my guard down and be myself.

So, even though 2008 has taught me a lot, I welcome 2009. I am looking forward to learning, loving and living more. And abundantly.

Some resolutions that I am making for the coming year are: To get in better physical shape. To continually strive for happiness and healthier mental and emotional well being. To learn to trust others more and if I get hurt, that I will be ok.

So, Happy New Year!

Three months old

2008-12-09T22:09:00.000-08:00

Wow! Has it really been that long? It feels like I just brought her home. Seriously, with each child, their few precious months of babyhood just race past as I struggle to keep up with the mundane routine of my everyday life.

She is super cute. Sure, I might just be saying that as her mother. But, really she is. She has got the cutest rolls on her chubby little legs. She has even got these plump little fingers. Her hair is fine and spriggy. I could just eat her up! She smells incredibly sweet after her bath. She smiles ear to ear when I talk with her. She is a happy baby.

She is sleeping during the night for about seven hours which is really nice. Tonight I am wasting time writing this and catching up on my Internet surfing. So, I will get off here and go catch some Zzz myself. Goodnight!

(Picture to be added in a couple days...)

My mom and me

2008-11-27T22:41:00.000-08:00

The older I get, the more I am starting to look like my mother. Now, I might not like this so much except that I think my mother is beautiful and young-looking for her age. I would probably not like this either if I didn't like my mother, but I have come to realize over the years how wonderful my mom really is. I love her a lot!

My mom is the type of mom who will bend over backwards for her family. She is hard-working and smart. She is honest (can't lie to save her life) and sincere. I am glad that she is my mom.

I miss her a lot since we live several hours away from each other. I usually visit her and Dad several times during the Spring and Summer, but come Fall and Winter, the visits are less frequent. It's during those months that I miss her.

I don't know if she really knows how much I admire her, but I do. And on this, Thanksgiving Day, I am truly thankful for the mother the LORD has blessed me with!

Baby is cooperating!

2008-11-19T13:16:00.000-08:00

I think she is finally on a schedule. I love it. At about 3 pm each day, all three of my kids are resting and I can get in a few minutes to an hour or so of ME TIME! It's so nice. I should be scrapbooking, but this is nice too. All I know is that it was mine and I used it for me. Now, time for a shower before they all wake up! LOL!

Scrapbooking, my love, I miss you!

2008-11-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

I long to scrapbook. It seems to me that each time I actually reach my tables and sit down, my new daughter somehow figures this out and wails. Doesn't matter if she was just nursed, had a diaper change, needs to sleep and I just got her off to sleep. If I am sitting at my table, she is due to cry and need me.

I am now working on my 1998 to 1999 book. I have almost completed my 2000 to 2001 book. I need to finish up my 2002 to 2003 book. There are no books for the years 2004 to present. All those pictures are waiting to be developed, for Pete's sake!

I don't know what it is about scrapbooking. Whether it's the chance to use my art school training and make layouts or just tapping into my creative side, I love making pages and telling my life's stories. And I love sharing my books with friends and family.

Each time I finish a page and can start another, I feel a sense of accomplishment. It's encouraging to me and I just want to keep going.

I am planning on taking my new daughter to a scrapbooking crop this weekend. Her cooperation will determine how successful I am at this. She might not let me put her down and I will have a wasted day. Or she will sleep the day away (except needing to nurse) and I will have an absolutely fabulous day.

Well, better end this post so that I can get my next page finshed!

Fantastic!!

2008-10-28T22:44:00.000-07:00

I took my kids to the dentist today. I made an appointment for all three of us to have our teeth cleaned at the same time. I won't be doing that as that is not the fantastic thing.

What was fantastic was the way my kids are at the dentist. They open their mouths when asked, close them when they are told to and overall, the appointment went, well, fantastic!!

And no cavities! Double- fantastic!!

Six Weeks!

2008-10-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe that my baby is six weeks and three days old already! The time has just flown between changing diapers, midnight feedings, and refereeing my two older kids. I love this life though. I just can't see me doing anything else with my life right now. Well, don't get me wrong, there are days that I wonder what I will do with myself when my kids are older and in school. But, today? I am enjoying exactly what I am doing. Being a mom to the three most amazing kids in the world.

At My Wits End

2008-10-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

My son loves food. So much so that now that he can open the kitchen gate, I am constantly on the watch that he isn't stealing food, yet again.

He is a big boy. At four and a half, he is over 60 lb and is 47 inches tall. He wears a size 7 or 8 sized jean that is big except for around the waist which is tight. I don't think I starve him, but he constantly tells me he is hungry.

He has gone to great lengths to get to food that he knows he is not supposed to be getting into. He has gone into the kitchen, gone down to the basement, pulled a three-step step ladder up the stairs (Lord only knows how he managed to do that!) and set it up in front of the refrigerator so that he could reach the things that I have put up out of his reach (Peanut Butter and some desserts that were on top of the refrigerator).

When I go upstairs with his younger sister, I have learned that I have to put a lock on the kitchen gate, otherwise, the minute I am out of view he runs to the kitchen to raid the freezer for ice cream. I have found him countless times sitting on the kitchen floor with a box (or two) of ice cream and a spoon, just eating to his sheer delight.

I am so exhausted from taking care of my 5 week old baby that I tend to fall asleep during the day while sitting on the couch. He has asked me a couple times this week alone to fall asleep (so that he can go and eat ice cream). Such a stinker!

I am not sure what I am going to do as he gets older. He is able to open the kitchen gate (when I don't put a lock on it to keep him out). Sooner or later he is going to be able to step over the gate or crawl over it. Then what?

I think I am going to have to stop buying Peanut butter and Ice Cream. I have asked my husband to take him on walks in the evenings, but hubby's one foot is hurting him badly right now so walking is out of the question. Our son need something to do besides eating. I am just not up to taking him for walks and I am just about out of ideas on what to do with his over-eating.

Two weeks and feeling great!

2008-09-22T13:24:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it has been two weeks since I gave birth to my third child. I am tired, but I feel great considering all that I went through during labor and delivery. I feel so blessed to have her and her two older siblings.

I can't wait to get out of this house and do something for me. I would really like to take a walk. Maybe in another couple of weeks. I think the air would be good for me and the exercise would definitely boost my spirits.

I couldn't ask for a better baby. She sleeps well and goes three hours (from start to start) between feedings. I am getting some rest and have even presumed my scrapbooking. I feel like myself and not some zombie mom. :D

I am enjoying being a mom of three and love the busyness! I am looking forward to when this baby is a little older and can play with the older two. It will be fun!

Birth Story - September 2008

2008-09-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

It was right around the beginning of this year (2008). I was waiting for the inevitable time of the month that never came. Hubs and I were going through a rough patch. I knew that he wouldn't be overly pleased with another baby, so I was afraid to find out for myself and then have a "secret" to keep. Well, after a couple weeks I was losing my energy and I still hadn't had my period, so I got a test and, lo and behold, it was positive. I was thrilled, but nervous. When should I tell him? Wait till I am up-chucking and have to explain? Wait a few months till I am showing? Wait till I think he will be happy to hear the news? That time might not come till after the baby is born, if ever. Well, I decided to tell him right away. I just couldn't keep the news to myself and I was hoping that he would surprise me and be somewhat pleased. He wasn't. I had bought this cute little layette set in a Noah's Ark design and used that to tell him. His face went from all-smiles (what's this gift I am getting?) to terribly upset ( #$%^@&(*!! ). I was so disappointed.

For the next couple of months, my energy and nausea kept getting worse and worse until about month four when this heavy cloud seemed to lift and I got some of my energy back. I went out with a couple friends that night. Then, I came home and fell into bed. Throughout months 1, 2, and 3, I could hardly take care of the laundry, cleaning and cooking, let alone the kids and myself. I didn't get much sympathy at all, as you can well imagine. That was a really rough time for me. After my nausea had subsided and I was feeling more like myself, I decided to stop putting off going to emotional counseling. If not for my marriage, then, just for me. I knew that there were problem in the marriage, but I was a part of the marriage and I was still carrying some junk from my past.

After seeing my counselor for a few weeks, I was beginning to feel more like the me that I want to be. Happy, content and at peace. I was also starting to enjoy the pregnancy even though there was still some tension between hubs and myself over it.

In my sixth month I start getting some contractions. I had them with my two previous pregnancies and so wasn't too worried about them. I continued to have them so at the end of my sixth month I was put on Brethine to help reduce their frequency. That helped. In my ninth month, I was taken off of it and a week later, I went into labor.

I had lost my plug about a week before this. A very good indicator that I was going to go into labor. I started thinking that I was going to be part of the 30% of pregnant women whose water breaks without contractions to indicate going into labor. However, I had plans to go to a friend's home for a scrapbooking day, something that I had looked forward to for weeks. So, I did that one day before going into labor. The following day I went to another friend's place for a movie night. After watching a movie, I made my way to my car to go home. I forgot the movies I had brought, so I followed my friend to her laundry room and talked with her until she was ready to go upstairs again so that I could get the movies. However, as we stood there talking, I felt a pop and my water ran down my legs. I started to panic. And then I laughed. Then I got emotional. Then, I relaxed and thought about who I had to call. Home first. Got the machine. Called the hospital, told them I would be on my way. Then, I called my mother and several of my babysitter volunteers. Then, my movie night friend told me she would take me home. When we arrived, my babysitter met us there and she went up to wake my hubs. We have wood floors that I didn't want to get wet.

Hubs came down and we headed for the hospital. On the way, we drove movie night friend home. We arrived at the hospital just before midnight. I was wheeled up to a labor room and given a gown to redress into. I used the restroom and got onto a bed. I gave the nurses some instructions. No more than 1/2 a dose of Stadal and don't let the doctor pull on the cord! They laughed when I told them they were allowed to hit, elbow or kick doctor if he tried to. Contractions were not consistent and after a hour of contractions getting further apart (from 5 minutes to 8 minutes) they suggested some meds to make contractions more consistent. I agreed. Then, things got going. After two hours of labor I needed more Stadal to help with pain. They were leery of giving it to me because I had already warned them that Stadal makes me loopy. Well, they gave it to me and wa-la!, I am loopy-headed. I was not very cooperative and so tired. It was about 3 AM at this point. When it's finally time to push, I would rather have slept. My hubs was a great coach and did a marvelous job! Our baby girl finally entered into this world at 4:40 in the morning. She is just beautiful. We didn't have a name for her, so I didn't get to say anything to her using her name. Just an awful feeling. I wanted to, but there was no name to use for her yet. After 18 hours of name suggesting and eliminating, we finally came up with a beautiful name that suits her to a T. The afterbirth didn't come out like it was supposed to, so I was put to sleep and they removed it surgically. Better then being pulled out and have a piece still in there and hemmoraghing, I say...

After my mother's arrival that day, my older children came to the hospital with her and hubs to meet our little bundle of joy. I was apprehensive about the kids' first meeting becasue I knew my son wanted a boy. It's all he talked about. However, all was calm and no one threw a fit. Daughter wanted to sit on my bed for a closer look. Son told me he liked his new sister and would share his toys with her. Yeah! First meeting went better than expected!

Day 2 - Off Brethine

2008-09-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

And I am having no contractions! I am pleasantly surprised and wonder if this is the calm before the storm?

Counting down...

2008-09-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

I am 37 weeks along now. I am excited about meeting my new baby, but I am nervous about giving birth too. I am not sure why. This is my third baby. It's not as if this whole production is new to me or something.

I am carrying extra fluid this time and I have been having contractions since about 5 1/2 months along. I guess I am afraid that when the time come, I won't know it because I have been having contraction (some of them hard and painful) for so long, I won't know the difference between the real ones and the false ones. I am sure that isn't true; I am just getting nervous.

I also would like to hold one baby to the full 40 weeks. My son was born at 38 1/2 weeks. My daughter came at 37 1/2. I am actually surprised that I haven't had this baby yet. And I like the due date they gave me. But, I guess I can't pick the birth date of my child unless I decided to be induced. I won't. I went through one induction. That was enough. The labor is harder. I like the spontaneity of going into labor naturally.

I am going off Brethine as of tonight when my prescription runs out. I am not looking forward to the contractions, but the doctor thinks it will help get things going and it shouldn't be long before this baby is born. I am starting to progress towards going into labor, anyhow, which is good, I guess.

I need to get the car seat cleaned and installed in the car. I need to pack a bag for the baby. The bassinet, clothes, blankets, bibs, and burp clothes are ready for use. I have the guest room ready for a babysitter or my mother, whoever needs it first. I feel like there is still so much to do, but there is so much that I have accomplished too. I am just a little nervous.

Well, for now, I am counting down and waiting as patiently as I can. I want to wait as long as it takes, but the waiting is making me nervous too. Just can't wait to meet this little one, whenever he or she decides to come.

God is so Good!

2008-09-02T12:17:00.000-07:00

It's just amazing how things work out when you are in a pinch. Like today. Today could have been one headache after another, but it worked out so smoothly I am still amazed!

I asked my babysitter to come and watch my kids from 8:30 until sometime in the afternoon. She could come but only until 2:45 (at the very latest). I had a parent/ teacher meeting to attend. I was supposed to go to one from 1 to 2:30, but the teacher was flexible and let me come to the morning meeting from 9 to 10:30. Great! Then, I had a non-stress test at 11. The school and the hospital are 40 minutes apart. The meeting left out a little early and I was on the road before 10:15. Got some breakfast and took a potty break on the way and was at the hospital for the test, on time! I got settled in for the non-stress test (usually these last for hours!) and was just amazed when the nurse came in to release me at about 11:45. I had so much time to kill before my doctor's appointment at 2, I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I decided to see if the doctor could see me a little early. If he couldn't, I was just going to have to reschedule. I went in and talked to the receptionist. She looked at the schedule and didn't see any appointments that would work for me. I didn't know what to do. Then, she disappeared for a few minutes. When she returned, she told me the doctor could see me now! I was so pleased! I was out of the office before 1. I had plenty of time to go home and release my sitter before she had to go to her other job. I had called everyone that I could think of to help me in case I was postponed with the non-stress test or the doctor couldn't see me any earlier than he had. Everyone that called back was unavailable. Somehow, the Lord just worked it all out perfectly!

Emergency plan, back on!!

2008-08-31T14:38:00.000-07:00

Well, after asking the first person on my list of back-up people, I found my replacement. She is willing to come during the week. She works on the weekends but that is ok because my previous sitter is still willing to watch my kids on the weekend.

After all the worrying and wondering I have done these last few day and it is all working out. Even after I had this resolved, someone else volunteered to help out too. God is so good!! Now I have two for sure, and at least two more who are willing. And praise God, they are all people that I love and trust.

Now that this is all resolved, I just need to go into labor. I am hoping to not go before September 20. We shall see...

Emergency plan interrupted!!

2008-08-29T19:53:00.000-07:00

Well, there has been a huge speed bump in my plan for a quick escape to the hospital, when that time comes. My babysitter has been applying to jobs and will be accepting one soon. She starts this Tuesday.

I am extremely happy for her that she is getting a job, she has been looking for a while, but I am completely disappointed for myself. I am back on the hunt for a competent and reliable soul who doesn't mind dropping everything to come to my home in the middle of the night, if necessary, to watch my two little cherubs, while I rush off to the hospital.

I have a few names in mind to ask when I see them next. I just can't go into labor in the next two days before I see them.

This is adding extra stress to my life right now. I have been experiencing some labor pains. Contractions that are persistence and painful. I can talk through some of them but those alone have me on edge. I went in for an ultrasound the other day and went up to Labor and Delivery afterwards because I was sure that I was going into labor. After several hours of observation and monitoring, I was released to walk around the hospital for a couple hours. When I returned, I was no more dilated than when I left, so they sent me home to wait it out. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time.

I don't want to have this baby any sooner than necessary. I know that the longer I hold him/her the better all around. However, I am on pins and needles dealing with all these contractions since I was 5 1/2 months pregnant. I will just be relieved when this is all over and I can hold this little one.

Well, for now I am waiting. There is nothing else to do. I am sleeping and putting my feet up more. And for all that, I do feel a little better. I am also on Brethine and have decided to up the dose from once every 6 hours to once every 5. I think that is helping with the contractions. I am still having them, but not as often or as painful.

And, hey, if all else fails, hubby and I will just take the kids in with us. And call my mother so that she can meet us at the hospital. I go pretty fast and it will all be over by the time she gets there (she lives 4 hours away), but at least I will have made it to the hospital and our children will be where we know they are ok. Unfortunately with that plan, hbby will have to miss out on all the action, but we will just have to do what we have to do.

Emergency Plan- Planned!!

2008-07-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

It was such a relief! I don't easily trust people with my kids. There are just too many stories that I read or hear about that instill that fear-of-others-with-my-kids in me. I have to know you pretty well to entrust you with my kids.

Now, there are quite a few people that fall into that category. My mom, all my best frineds, most of my sisters, my brother and his wife, and some of my close church friends.

I have trouble leaving my darlings with teenagers even though I was a trustworthy and capable teenage babysitter at one time. I have done it, but it makes me a little nervous at the same time. My regular babysitter is in her mid-twenties (I think) and I trust her a lot. My not-so-regular babysitter is a teenager that when we had her babysit, she was so efficient that I would hire her again.

When it came time to pick someone to watch our son while we went off to the hospital when I was pregnant with baby girl, I had the worst time choosing. I finally decided on a friend that I thought I could trust. Unfortunately, I went into labor while she was off on vacation. Yet, fortunately, her mother was willing and, at that time, available to watch son while we rushed off to the hospital.

Now, it's come time, since I am in my seventh month of pregnancy, to pick another person that I think is capable and trustworthy to watch my two angels while I bring another one into the world.

I came up with a name and it was just a matter of asking her if she could. I get so nervous asking people for huge favors like that. However, to my great delight, she was willing not only to watch my children, but to come to my house, even if it's in the middle of the night! How good is that?!

So, emergency plan is taken care of and I don't have to worry. I trust this woman with my chidlren and she is willing to, bascially, bend over backwards to accomodate us. I am feeling this huge amount of stress being lifted off my shoulders.

Birth Story - July 2006

2008-07-20T21:26:00.000-07:00

It was November 2005 and I had just gotten a job working for a ad publication, designing ads. I hadn't had a job in my field (graphic design) ever and I thought that this job would be my first stepping stone out there in the job world. Unfortunately, there was a lot of misrepresentation and miscommunication on their part and within the first week, I was having my doubt. By the end of the second week, I knew that I didn't need the hassle. I wasn't making much money after travel expenses and daycare cost, so I decided, in the best interest of all concerned, I should just go back to staying at home with my 18 month old.

A few days later I discovered that I was pregnant with our second baby. I was pretty thrilled. Hubby, son and I go out to dinner to celebrate.

Throughout this pregnancy there were no concerned or worries. I didn't have to do non-stress tests or special sonograms to track anything. There were no reasons to be alarmed or on edge.

I had an appointment one week before giving birth and I was already dilated about 3 cm. One week later, I was still dilated and my baby had dropped. The doctor gave me a few hints as to how to get things moving along. Hubby was not about to try the one method, in case something went wrong during labor and delivery.

However, the next morning, I started getting these strong contractions that lasted pretty long. They were about 5 minutes long each and about 15 to 20 minutes apart. I just thought that it was false labor and tried walking them off by moving about my house. I had a bout of them in the morning (5 or 6 contractions, each 5 minutes long, about 15 to 20 minutes apart), in the afternoon and later in the evening. When hubby got home from work, I explained what was going on. I think I even got one last set of these contraction before going to bed. By the second set of these contractions and each set following, I would get 4 or 5 contractions and tell myself, "If I get one more contraction, I am going to go into the hospital." It was at that point that they dissipated and I didn't have any more contractions for a little while. I got several hours of sleep when I was awakened at about 2 am with another strong contraction. I woke my dear husband and told him, we need to get ready just in case I had to go in that night. So, I got a shower and got dressed, just in case. At about 4 am, after my 4th or 5th contraction, I just couldn't get that "one more", so I got back into bed and tried to get some more sleep.

At about 8 am, my darling son, who was just a little over 2 at that time, woke me up. We got dressed and had breakfast. I felt terrible, but I had made tentative plans to see a friend that day, so I drove over to her house. Well, I guess that is putting it lightly. She lived a few towns over, in the "boonies". It took about 30 minutes to get there. I got to her house at about 11 am. Besides being tired from my restless night before, I was OK. I probably was not much company and I remember being kinda distracted. Well, at about 11:30, I got another one of these contractions. Only this time, it was very hard and I could barely breath or talk through it. I walked around her house, went in and used her restroom. At this time the contraction was so hard that I was really hurting. The previous ones were bothersome, maybe a little hurtful, but not like this one. It hurt! After the contraction was over (I thought it would never end!), I walked back out and told my friend that I had just had this terrible contraction and I was calling my husband and mother to let them know what I was experiencing. Then, I told both of them to be on the alert and stand by their phones. I thought I was close to going in to labor (HA!). Well, I hung up the phone with hubby and stood up when I felt a huge gush flow down my legs. My first thought was that I had just peed myself and I was really embarrassed. Then, a split second later, I recalled all the times that other women had described how it felt to have their water break and I realized then, that I was, in fact, in labor. So, I called my husband back first and asked him to go straight home and get my bags. I called my mother too and told her to hurry up (she had a four-hour drive to my house). Then, I started gathering my son up to drive home. My friend asked if she should drive me to my house. I knew she was watching her two girls and their cousins, so I told her, "No, I will be fine." "You sure?", she asked. "Yes, I will be fine. Hubby is meeting me at our house and he will take me into the hospital." When my friend's husband, who was taking a nap inside, heard that my water had just broke, he TOLD his wife to drive me home. "She isn't driving herself, is she?" It was then that I realized that maybe I was getting myself in a little over my head. So, my friend drove my son and me home.

On the way, she distracted me with small talk about I don't even remember. She drove my van and got son and I there pretty fast. With each contraction that I had, I was leaking some water. She had given me several towels to help with that. When we reached my house, hubby was outside waiting to take over driving. We still had to drop our son off at the babysitters' and head to the hospital. He asked her how things were going. Somehow, on the way to my house, she talked with me AND timed my contractions too! I was amazed and proud of her! She did a great job!

We headed over to the babysitters' house and hubby ran son in with all his nap stuff. By this time, it was just after 12 noon and I hadn't gotten him fed yet. So, hubby had to explain to the sitters that our son needed lunch and a nap and that my mother was on her way too. As I was waiting for him to come back and get me to the hospital, our babysitters' guests came out of the house (friends of mine too, from church) to pray for me. I still feel a little guilty thinking about how I just wanted to be left alone. A little, but not much...

Finally, hubby comes out of their house and we head towards the hospital. By this time I have been in labor for over 45 minutes. I was having contractions about every 7 minutes and my water had gushed. We had a 30-minute drive to the hospital yet. According to what the doctor advised two days earlier, I was not supposed to let my contractions get any closer than 15 minutes apart since I had been dilated 3 cm for over a week. And I was not supposed to let my water break. So, we get on the highway and hubby starts racing. Then, we get behind this car that is in the passing lane, just driving along at the same speed as the car it should be passing. I was annoyed, but hubby is very upset. He started yelling. I had a contraction. At this point his frustration was wearing off onto me. That contraction was bad! After it was over, I calmly explained that he needed to calm down a little because if he is upset, I got upset and it was making my contractions hurt twice as bad. He is more calm after that. The car ahead of us finally gets out of the way and we speed on. When hubby reaches 80 MPH, I was alarmed as I wanted to get to the hospital in one piece. He started slowing down because he didn't want to get a ticket, but I told him that if a cop pulled us over, they would actually help us get to the hospital by leading us there! So, we raced on.

About five minutes away from the hospital, I realized that my legs are going stiff. So, after another contraction, I called in and explained to the switchboard lady that I couldn't walk. She told me, "Oh, you just come on in and we will get you a wheelchair." Didn't she hear the part about how I can't walk?! Oh, well. When we got to the hospital, hubby drove me right up to the door and in his panic, rushed in to get a wheelchair, while, out of the other door came this nice, old man with a wheelchair, just for me. If I hadn't been in labor, I would have laughed a lot! It was very comical. Hubby came out just as I am sitting down in the chair and was getting wheeled in. He went to park the car. It was about 1 o'clock.

I got up to my room and after all the contractions and leaking of water, I was a mess. I stripped out of my clothes and walked right into the restroom to relieve myself. The nurses handed me a gown and I put it on as I was sitting on the commode. When I came out, hubby was in the room. The nurses examined me and determined that I was, in fact, in labor. Then, one of the nurses looked at my husband and told him to watch what they were doing because the next time I am in labor, if he waits that long to bring me in, he will have to do all this in the car. I felt bad for him because I knew that "the waiting" was my fault. I was hooked up to the monitors and minute by minute the pain kept getting worse. I started begging for meds to help. I don't think at this point that I had even been given my IV yet. I was so impatient! They were rushing around doing something and I just wanted some relief.

After about another half-hour of waiting and the urge to push was getting more and more intense, the nurse mid-wife arrives and I was allowed to start pushing. Actually, I was pushing even before she gets to my room. Hey! I already delivered one and these nurses deliver babies all the time, so I figured what are we waiting for? There are plenty of hands to catch my baby when it comes time for that.

At 2:47, my baby is fully delivered and we are blessed with a baby girl. She is just beautiful! I got to hold her for a little while. They take her for a littl while to measure and chart info. Then, the nurses encourage me to start nursing her. I was a little disappointed that we didn't get any pictures right after birth because she took to nursing like a duck to water. But, in hindsight, all the birth pictures that were taken, I look half-way decent in since they were taken after I had a chance to catch my breath a little.

Son and my mother came to the hospital later to welcome little daughter and see how I was doing. When my shy little boy saw this new baby lying on Mommy's bed, he wouldn't come near me with a ten-foot pole. He stayed really close to his grandma. I thought I would at least get a hug or a smile. Nothing. Well, my mother, smart lady that she is, encouraged big brother to hold out his finger for his new baby sister to hold. When he did, little sister took hold of it tightly and he beamed from ear to ear. It was a Kodak moment.

Birth Story - April 2004

2008-07-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

Since a friend of mine gave birth just a couple of weeks ago, I have been inspired to write down my version of how my two wonderful children came into the world.

I knew I was pregnant with my first child in August 2003. I had been married for over 5 years and was just thrilled. I had been wanting to start our family for quite some time so I was bursting with excitement.

After I took the pregnancy test on September 2, I told hubby that night by giving him a set of three little children's books all train-related and train-shaped. One was a train engine, another a train car and the third, the caboose. Since he loves trains, I knew that he would like them. He opened the wrap and smiled! He have me a big hug and kissed me. We went out to dinner to celebrate and I ordered milk with dinner.

Over the next weeks and months, the pregnancy went well until about 16 weeks along when they thought they found an enlarged ventricle of the brain and excess fluid in the one kidney. So, when about 6 months pregnant, the doctor wanted me to start seeing a specialist in the city to keep an eye on the fluid and the ventricle. And around this time, I started going to the hospital for non-stress tests. I wasn't getting all stressed out about either situation as I knew that the Lord had his hand on my baby and I had faith in Him to see the pregnancy through.

One day in about mid April, 2004, I went to the hospital for one of the routine, scheduled, non-stress tests. As I was sitting there, all hooked up and reading a magazine with the beautiful sound of my baby's heartbeat tum-ta-tum-ing in the background, two nurses rushed into the room. "Roll over on your side", one said, not so nicely. So, I roll my big 8 1/2 month self over on my left side. Nurses looked intently at monitor. Not happy. Very concerned. "OK. Roll over on the other side." So, I roll over onto my right side. Not an easy task in that stage. Nurses stared at monitor. Not smiling. Very serious. After a moment, the nurse in charge told the other one to get me undressed from waist down. I still didn't know what is going on and what they are so concerned about. "Whoa! What's going on?", I said. "The baby's heart rate just went down from 150 to 75", she said. OK, I am cooperative now. I helped second nurse strip me down while the other one got ready to help my baby. (Even after all these years those few minutes still bring tears to my eyes.) The nurse in charge put a glove on and reached inside to scratch on my baby's head. Still watching monitor intently. Baby's heart rate went back up. They explained what had happened and told me that they needed to watch me for the next 30 minutes or so to makes sure the heart rate doesn't decrease again. Well, luck wasn't with me. After several hours of watching, my baby's heart rate just wouldn't stay up in the 120-150 range, so the doctor admitted me so that I could be induced the next morning.

I called my dear husband at work and asked that he come to the hospital as soon as he could. I broke into tears and one of the nurses had to finish talking to him as I was too choked up to talk. They wheeled me down to have one last sonogram taken to be sure that everything was going OK. Besides the heart rate, the baby looked good. By the time I got back up to Labor and Delivery, my hubby was in my room, waiting for me. He never looked so good! The doctor gave me a med to help my cervix get ready for delivery the next morning.

The baby still wasn't cooperating. After a restless night of nurses in and out trying to keep the heart rate up, I was induced the next morning at 7 am. By 11 am my contractions started. I was given a dose of stadil (sp?) to help with the pain which knocked me out pretty good. I fell asleep in between each contraction and my husband and the nurses had a terrible time getting me awake when my contractions were coming. I thought 30 minutes to an hour went by in between each when in reality it was only about 5 to 10 minutes. I had to use the restroom a lot during labor and was constantly on the toilet. They didn't want me out of bed much because they wanted to monitor me closely. However, by 1:51 pm, my beautiful, first-born was in my arms. A son! My first words to him were, "M, I love you! I hope you like trains". Then, I stared at him for a minute, taking in the beautifulness of him. Then it hit me how groggy I was. I asked my dear hubby to take him from me before I dropped him. When my darling son was out of my hands, I rolled over onto my side and fell back asleep, snoring! I was so tired from not getting enough sleep the night before delivery.

The fun had just started there! After we left the hospital, my dear little boy would not eat. He was born at 7 lbs, 1 oz. and released weighing about 6 lbs, 15 oz. Not bad. By the time the little booger was 4 days old and I took him for his first pediatric visit, he weighed only 5 lbs, 15 oz. We were all shocked. I knew that he was sleeping too much at the hospital, but I just figured that he would eat and be more alert when he got hungry. Well, the peds doc told me to take him home and get him to eat, whatever it took. One more ounce lost, she was admitting him to the hospital. So, I took him home and was trying to dropper feed him until my mother came up later that evening. When she saw how unsuccessful I was at getting milk into him and it getting swallowed (not at all), she strongly urged me to give him a bottle of expressed milk. When I did, he quickly guzzled about 2 oz. Within a week he weighed more than his birth weight and we were all ecstatic!

For the baby who couldn't stay awake to eat, he sure made up for lost meals. By 4 months old he weighed in at 18 lbs. By 6 months old, he tipped the scales at 24 lbs (up to this point all I was feeding him was my milk. No formula, no rice). By the time he was nine months old, he was 29 lbs, 15 oz. Luckily for me he only gained 7 oz within the next 3 months, so at 1 year old he was 30 lbs, 6 oz. My boy is still nice and healthy at 4 years old. He is 38 inches in height and weighs 60 lbs.

Camper drama

2008-07-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

Last year, as summer approached us, hubby and I began search for a pop-up camper for us to take our children camping in. We had a tent that we took up to the year I was pregnant with our daughter, but trying to fit a queen-sized air mattress, a sleeping bag and a pack n' play in there was not happening. So, our search began.

We looked at several pop-up campers that we really liked. One in particular comes to mind. It was relatively clean and was big enough to suit our needs. We took a look at it and drove home to think about it. Within a couple days, when we called back to see it again, it was sold. We were unhappy about it, but I knew that it wasn't the camper for us, or else it wouldn't have sold so quickly.

Within the next several weeks we looked at a few more. One was a no even before I looked around in it that much. It was advertised in the newspaper as only used once. It had a commode and a shower inside. I could smell the commode even before opening. I just couldn't buy that knowing that I would have to take it home and clean it. Yuck! I am grossed out just thinking about it now! And I didn't want to clean that each time we took it out. I would rather make a made dash in the middle of the night to a bathhouse than clean a camper commode.

Well, we finally found the one we now own. It is a 7 person camper with sink, stove and food cooler. Hubby installed a refrigerator shortly after we bought it and I am so happy for it when we are camping. No need to worry about our food going bad. He made quite a few adjustments to it and made it very nice. New mattress pads for some of the beds, window installation for cold nights, new poles (a few that we bought the camper with were rigged and weren't very stable), new roof vent, new step, plus, some other things I am sure I am forgetting.

However, after going out with it twice, we noticed that it leaked from the roof when it rained. The last time we took it out last year was Labor Day weekend. It had rained after we got it home. I am not sure why we didn't open it up and make sure that everything was OK before storing it away in the garage for the winter, but we didn't.

Since we knew that the roof was leaking, that was a project that hubby wanted to work on this year. When he opened it to check on it and fix the leaking roof, he was hit with a strong smell of mildew. Oh, dear!

He took the next couple weeks to seal the roof seam. One thing about my hubby is that he is very meticulous and detail-oriented. (I will edit this blog in a day or two to detail how he fixed the roof for all of you who want to know.)

When I was finally able to get inside and see what the damage was and how it looked, I was a bit taken back. The roof had leaked and the two bed ends acted as water catchers since they were pushed in and almost meet in the middle. The canvas that lay on top of them was mildewed. The two end beds got it the worst. Even the outside of those bed ends has some mold growing on it.

Well, so far most of the mildew stains have come off and the smell is greatly deduced. I have yet to clean the outside and I am hoping that when I do, it will get rid of the rest of the smell. I cleaned the walls and the bed end walls. I took down the curtains and washed them with baking soda. I cleaned the two bed end mattress covers and we are replacing the mattress pads inside of those. The cushions that make up the other two beds are clean-smelling because they didn't have any water damage to them. I couldn't reach the ceilings of the bed ends very well, so I had hubby do those. It was dark when I took a look at them last night, but what I saw, I thought looked very good.

Even though the canvas won't ever look as it had when we bought it, the camper is still in good shape. I am disappointed that we let it get this bad, but now we know not to let a leak go.

We are looking froward to taking it on a trip in two weeks. I am positive that by then, it will be clean and ready to go. Last night it rained and the roof did not leak. Yeah!

Are you there, Baby?

2008-07-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, I had a sitter come so that I could get some blood work and an OB visit in. I figure out too late that I don't have enough time for both, so I cut the blood work part short and head over to the doc's office. I promise to come back the next day to complete the blood work (gestational diabetes test) and get my RH negative shot. At the OB's office, I see my favorite doc and ask all the questions that I have been saving up for this visit since she is the most personable and willing to answer my questions. The pregnancy is going well and there are no concerns.

On Thursday, I had planned to meet hubby at his work place to pick him up so that we can head toward my parent's for the weekend. I had to stop in to the hospital on the way and finish this blood work and get my shot. I have my two rambunctious children with me. Oh, well. 'Tis is life. I had some packing to finish up but I finally get to the hospital. There is no line for the registry and before I know it, I am waiting for my blood work to be resumed. The male tech who works on me is slow. When the test is done and my children have just about had it, I learn that I have to go to the maternity ward to get my shot. Ugh! I didn't have to go the whole up there with the last pregnancy. Whatever. I go up and they are a little slow about giving me the shot. However, when it's all done, I leave and rush over to hubby's workplace since he had been expecting me for an hour.

The weekend at my folks goes well. Which is a really good thing. Amazing really! About Saturday afternoon I realize that I hadn't been having as many bumps and nudges as I would like. I tried calling the hospital to see what I could do, but I was in the mountains and wasn't getting much reception. So, I try and relax. I would talk with hubby the next day and see about stopping in at the hospital on the way home just to see if Baby is ok.

As we head home Sunday afternoon, we finally come to the hospital exit, about 8 pm, and I convince hubby to stop even though it's getting close to the kids' bedtime. Hubby thinks I should just go home and backtrack back to the hospital solo, but I don't think the check should last that long. So, we stop. When we get up to the maternity ward, we are told to take a seat in the waiting area. This should have been my first sign that hubby was right to want to go home and get the kids in bed. So, they finally get me into the room and strapped up to monitor the baby's heart rate and movement. Gladly, we hear lots of movement and the heart rate is good. What a relief! Apparently, after having two kids, my uterus is just stretched out so I don't feel the movement as much as with my first two pregnancies. After what I think is sufficient time to monitor the baby, the nurse come in and tells me that she didn't get enough jagged lines, and so, she is going to watch me a little while longer. It's now 10 pm. I look at the clock and think about my poor hubby and children waiting for me to go home. After another long wait and feeling very guilty at this point, the nurse comes back and tells me she had been monitoring the contractions for a while and I had been having too many of them. She wanted to give me a shot to help them go away. I had this shot before in this pregnancy. I get lots of Braxton Hicks. Too many per hour. Four to six an hour is allowed. I was having them every three minutes that night. So, she gives me the shot and I have to wait some more. Finally when I am feeling wired and jittery (side effect of the shot) I am told I can go home. Hubby seems very tired, but amazingly understanding. Kids are exhausted but ok.

So, here I sit, one day later, wondering whether I should call in and tell them that I am having a lot of contractions again. I am only 28 weeks along. I am afraid that if this keeps up, I am going to be induced which isn't an acceptable option for me. I have been drinking a lot of water and am off my feet. I am not sure why I am having this many contraction, but I will probably call and see what I can do.

My kids, my life. A journey in and of itself.

2008-07-07T21:27:00.000-07:00

Although I think my emotional healing process is very interesting and worth reading about, I think my pregnancy and journey with motherhood is far more exciting. And I feel that I have more material to write about with my expectant baby and two other children too. I still think that the two have a lot to do with each other. For one, I don't think I would be trying to change myself had I not had children yet. And two, I know that it would be very healthy for them to see me change and grow. So, I am changing my focus a little. Things I learn may still come up, but I would rather write about my delightful children than my emotional healing.

Humble pie doesn't taste very good...

2008-06-30T11:22:00.000-07:00

There are some days when I am not doing as well as I would like. I have to reflect on the previous days and do a double check as to what set me off and examine that.

I went to a women's breakfast with the other ladies of my church and there was no lesson, no set theme to the morning. Just eight ladies having breakfast and sharing our testimonies about what the Lord has done in our lives and how he used others or circumstances to change and mold us.

I am just so taken back and in awe of what the Lord is doing in my life. I am happy, content and at peace with most of my life. I shared my story of how the Lord has just been placing one stepping stone after another stepping stone ahead of me. Others shared similar stories. It was a nice morning.

Over the next several days after this breakfast, my attitude, my peace, my happiness melted and I reverted back a little to the person I was several months ago. I didn't like me. I just couldn't seem to keep a lid on the old me for those few days.

I had to apologize to my dear hubby for being hard to live with. I am still not certain as to what it was that set me off. I just know that I don't want to get to that point again. I know my family wasn't happy because I wasn't happy.

Learning to be happy on my own.

2008-06-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

This is harder than I think it sounds and yet, so easy. This means that I choose, no matter how others treat me, no matter how others treat themselves, no matter what life throws my way, to be happy. I don't get all depressed or mad when others treat me badly. I just smile and say, "Oh, well". Even when my kids are acting up and getting on my last nerve, I just take a big calming breath and let the worries roll off. And if that doesn't work, then I just walk away (making sure they are safe first, of course!) to stay calm. This also means that I don't take myself so seriously.

This doesn't mean that I don't have my bad days. I do. Sometimes I relapse back into my moody self occasionally. It just means that on most days, I am happy and content.

I feel more at peace with myself and others because of it. Other people don't get me down and I am less controlled by their actions. So my kids are whining. That doesn't have to get me down. I can walk away or redirect them. So my husband comes home grouchy and takes it out on me. I can still be nice to him. Choices! I mean, what would it do any of us any good if I chose to be whining like my kids or grouchy like my darling husband? It wouldn't. And when I revert and act like others, I am no better than they are and unhappy to boot!

This also means that I love them through their grouchy days and whiny moments. I love them because they are special and important to me. Despite their flaws. And because they love me despite my flaws.

I didn't get here by accident

2008-06-01T21:58:00.000-07:00

My life is good, but it hasn't always been this way. I took a few detours that I wish I hadn't and missed the boat a few times and had to wait till the next one came in to continue my trip I call my life.

I now have two children and have one on the way. I love my kids and wish that I had been able to start out having them a little sooner in my marriage. However, I realize that it would be virtually impossible to have produced the same kids at any other time than when we did and, quite frankly, I can not see my life with any other children than the two that the Lord has blessed us with.

I have been married to my husband for ten years now. I am thankful for him. He has been a blessing to me these 13 years I have known him and glad for all the wonderful memories he and I have shared and will share. Namely, the two previously mentioned kids! He has helped me grow more than any other person and is very discerning regarding my life and my experiences.

I grew up a part of a dysfunctional home and wasn't ready for all that married life entails. I guess I was looking for an escape from my parents and siblings. However, I knew that my husband was the one for me. So, although we married young and I was too immature to understand all that I was getting myself into, I am glad that I took this path.

Some of the people and circumstances that I feel indebted to are my parents for raising me in the church. If it weren't for God, I am not sure where I would be in life. I can't imagine that I would be very happy, to say the least! My husband for helping me to see my life from an outsiders perspective and showing me where I had to grow and change. There have been numerous older, wiser women who have taken me under their nurturing wings and helped to give me guidance and encouragement when I needed it the most. Now, this might sound silly at first, I am glad for all those that hurt me or caused pain in my life. Without them, I would not be the person I am today and without that pain I would not have those experiences to share with others. Seriously, I did not get here by accident! I am glad for all the outlets that the Lord has blessed me with in my healing process. I can't tell you how many times groups, or people in general, have just sorta fallen into my life at just the right times to teach me something that I needed to learn.

I am mostly thankful for the Lord's wisdom in all this. I am not sure where my life is leading, but I am excited about where I am now. My journey seems to be taking forever to get to this undetermined destination, but I know the Lord has great plans for me. So, even though my life is not all roses and fluffy clouds, it is good and I am content and happy. I find blessing to thank the Lord for everyday. I can't wait to see where this life is heading and don't want to get off the road for anymore detours!